Season of Our Second Act

[00:00:03] Speaker A: This is Faith Break, a podcast about recognizing God, moments in our everyday lives with Karen Luke and Ann Gallagher. Is retirement even a thing? In today's episode, Karen and Anne explore how we dream and plan for our second act in life. And ask what's it like to stop working the way we always have and find new ways to share our gifts. [00:00:38] Speaker B: Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Faith Break. I'm Anne Gallagher. [00:00:41] Speaker C: And I'm Karen Luke. [00:00:42] Speaker B: And we are joined today by our friend and colleague, Pam McInerney. Pam, welcome. [00:00:46] Speaker D: Hi. Thank you. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Pam is our music minister at St Catherine and has been at Transfig doing music ministry as well. [00:00:54] Speaker D: For 25 years. [00:00:55] Speaker B: Yes, for a long time. So, like, just very excited to have you here today. Thank you. [00:01:02] Speaker D: So happy to be here after watching and listening for a very long time. So this is great. [00:01:07] Speaker B: And so Pam is here to talk to us about today. We're talking about the season of our second act because Pam is a little bit ahead of Karen and I on this journey and has recently retired from your full time teaching job, which was. And then you were always doing music ministry as like a second job. So you're in this kind of transition away from what your traditional working experience has been into. What's next? [00:01:37] Speaker D: Yes. [00:01:37] Speaker B: So Karen and I have nothing to say this today we are just gonna listen to all of your advice. [00:01:42] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:01:43] Speaker B: So you can tell us what we should be planning for the next. I don't know. [00:01:46] Speaker C: And how to get there. [00:01:47] Speaker D: And how to get there. [00:01:48] Speaker C: How to get there. [00:01:49] Speaker D: And now we go to a commercial. Well, we're coming up on of being retired, which is sort of this for me. It's a transitional place because now I spend nearly full time doing my true calling. Not that teaching wasn't. But this is the heart work, not the teaching wasn't. Oh, goodness. I know. [00:02:16] Speaker C: We get it. [00:02:17] Speaker D: We get it. But the full time job and the constraints of having the daytime full time job, the those time constraints are gone. Which means. Whoa. So what do I want to do? I had always had a running. When I retire, I want to list. So that would be the first thing that I would say, what do you want to do when things are a little bit more in your own. You can decide the timing. I wrote on my little notes to myself. Time just kept coming up. But I had wanted to always learn how to play guitar. That was the one instrument that we did not have to learn, which seems strange as a music teacher. And they said, oh, your grandfather didn't. You don't have to. Well, that's the one instrument you can carry around, right? [00:03:04] Speaker B: That's true. [00:03:05] Speaker D: Other than your voice. So I always wanted to learn how to play guitar. My son plays, my brother plays, my dad plays. Like, this is going to be so much fun. I just had von Trapp Family Singers in my head, and I always wanted to be in a Bible study. There's just no time for a Bible study when you're doing all the other things. So, you know, beginning of fall, I said, all right, I'm signing up for guitar, and I'm gonna join the women's Bible study. And they were fantastic. And then we got to December, and I went, oh, it's Advent. [00:03:39] Speaker C: There's a lot going on. [00:03:41] Speaker D: Oh, my goodness. So just thinking about today, just the word time kept coming up and Ecclesiastes 3, 1, 8. A time, two, a time, a time to, a time to. And that's what I'm really most aware of right now is time. How it was used before and how it's been used. In this first year, I was told, don't do anything for the first year. And I thought, have you met me? Yeah, I don't know what that means. I'm always doing lots of things, and there are always things that I enjoy. So just taking that time to have my own. What do I want to do? I think a lot in analogies, and it's very much like being on the highway. It's busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. And you have to go to a place, and this is where you're going. That was my before times. Now my current flavor of time is I'm still on the same highway, but I have a little bit more time to get there. It's still busy, and I'm looking forward to the time when I say, you know, I'm taking 5 and 20 instead of the thruway, so that time will also come. [00:04:51] Speaker B: Scenic route. [00:04:52] Speaker D: That can be another season later. So right now it's a transitional season. It's maybe. I don't know if this is fall into winter right now or if it's winter into spring. I don't know. [00:05:03] Speaker B: We talk about the seasons, too, being like. We think where we are right now is high summer, even though chronologically we might be a little bit past that. But just in terms of the busyness of it. Yes, it's that, like, it's sunlight all the time. There's tons to do, and that's where we are. But maybe you're like, autumn. Maybe you're just, like, getting ready. [00:05:23] Speaker D: September, maybe. [00:05:24] Speaker B: Yeah, September's the best month Right. [00:05:25] Speaker D: I know. It's all good. It's all good. [00:05:27] Speaker B: But you know what? We didn't do our God moments. [00:05:29] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:05:29] Speaker B: So let's do God moments. Or do you want to say something first? [00:05:32] Speaker C: Well, yes, I do want to say something first. Because one thing that I'm very jealous, that I was very jealous of Pam was. What is the first thing that you did after you retired? [00:05:44] Speaker D: Oh, this was the best thing. So I actually gave myself the gift of retiring on my birthday. That's right. Birthday present. [00:05:52] Speaker B: That's right. [00:05:53] Speaker C: But then. [00:05:54] Speaker D: Oh, but then I took myself to an Airbnb for a week. Right. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Oh, I remember hearing about this. So smart. [00:06:03] Speaker D: Amazing. [00:06:04] Speaker B: So smart. [00:06:05] Speaker D: And I. I was completely at my own discretion. And Will, did I want to stay up until 2? I could. Did I want to sleep until 10? I could. Just. Having no expectations, I invited Dan over for a movie night and said, okay, you can go home now. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Date night is over. [00:06:25] Speaker D: Date night is over. We dismissed. It was just the peace and the quiet that we as moms, we don't. [00:06:34] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, what a gift. [00:06:37] Speaker D: It really was. And I'm thinking about maybe celebrating that again. Maybe not for an entire week this year, but just a couple of days. This might be my own personal retreat. You've mentioned talking about retreats. Yes. I think this is my own self treat. [00:06:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:06:51] Speaker D: Ooh, I have treat. [00:06:52] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. You just invented something. [00:06:55] Speaker D: I love that. I think I will do that again. This might be my birthday thing. Yeah. [00:06:58] Speaker C: I love that. [00:06:59] Speaker B: That is a great tradition. [00:07:01] Speaker D: Why not to start? Why not? [00:07:02] Speaker B: That is a great idea. [00:07:04] Speaker D: Self care number one. Yeah. Now that we have anyway. [00:07:07] Speaker B: Well, because sometimes you just need like a physical change of space to get your head in a different space. [00:07:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Because if you were just to stay home, it's like, oh, the laundry, the dishes. I mean, the mail. The mail. I really don't want to do that. [00:07:23] Speaker D: Yeah. When you go to someone else's house and it's nice and clean, you go. It's so easy to keep it that way, right? [00:07:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:30] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:07:30] Speaker B: And Airbnbs are great too, because you don't even have to go very far. There's so much. [00:07:34] Speaker D: Just like I went to Henrietta. All the way to Henrietta. It was amazing. Amazing. And I will absolutely go back there again. [00:07:41] Speaker C: I just wanted to make sure that we snagged that self treating notes. I know you saw it called a self treat. [00:07:49] Speaker D: Self treat instead of a retreat. [00:07:52] Speaker C: All right. So as you know, we always like to have a God moment in trying to see God in the everyday. So would you like to participate? [00:08:04] Speaker D: Oh, I would love to. [00:08:05] Speaker C: In our God moment. [00:08:06] Speaker D: I would love to. I am firmly stuck in Advent as far as music is concerned. Father Rob loves the 12 Days of Christmas. My heart is still in Advent. And I think part of that, it's a vocational situation where we don't have time. It doesn't feel that we have time to actually be in the season of when it's happening as liturgical ministers. And I was saying, I really wish that we had one more week of Advent. You had talked about it a year ago on the podcast. [00:08:38] Speaker B: I did. I remember that. [00:08:40] Speaker D: Little things. I take notes. But I wish we had had just one more week. So I'm still back there in my heart. And the song that I just keep going back to, it was Savior by Sarah Hart. For weeks, that was really important to my heart. Now I've moved on to another Sarah Hart piece, which is called Lowly the Cradle. I know that one. Oh, gosh. It's a recent one, and it's just gorgeous. So highly recommend. Even though we're in ordinary time, you know, a sneeze away from Lent in a couple weeks, listen to Lowly the Cradle because it really puts Lent in perspective. I've been listening to Advent with the lens of Lent, and they're so close together. There's one song, I'm almost thinking, if we leave off the last verse, it works for both. [00:09:35] Speaker B: Cool. [00:09:35] Speaker D: I know. I know. [00:09:37] Speaker B: I think Advent is oftentimes where my heart is. I think we all have, like, in different times of our lives, but even just with our personalities, like that kind of waiting, the already and the not yet, that's a space. It's that openness I live in a lot. [00:09:52] Speaker D: It's just that openness, and it's that hope, and it's looking forward, and we are people of hope. So my God moment has actually been to discover that piece on a recent CD that I was given, and I've just had it on repeat. And singing as loud as I can in the car. In the car. [00:10:15] Speaker C: I love that. [00:10:15] Speaker B: I love that. Permission to be in a different liturgical season than. [00:10:18] Speaker D: Yes, absolutely. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Maybe we officially are. [00:10:21] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:10:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:22] Speaker C: Ann, what about you? [00:10:23] Speaker B: Okay, so I was gonna share something different, but then I remembered last night, I'm trying to go to bed early. This is. I'm always trying to go to bed early. But yesterday I was in bed, I was reading a book, and Bridget comes. She's silly, dancing into my bedroom. She's dancing. [00:10:41] Speaker C: Oh, I could totally see her do this. [00:10:42] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:10:43] Speaker B: And she's like, mommy, move over. I'm coming in. And she just, like, snuggled in the bed with me. And I was like, Okay, I have 20 pages left in my book, but I'm just gonna put it down and let this teenager who now is like a Saint Bernard who still thinks they're a puppy trying to get into the bed. [00:11:01] Speaker C: That is the perfect analog. [00:11:05] Speaker D: When you. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Have a teenager who still wants to snuggle you. Just like, everything else can wait. Everything else can wait. And so we had that. And then our cat came in. And we have a very neurotic cat who, like, will not relax, but she was, like, kind of up on the bed and pacing around us and thinking about getting on the laps, but definitely not ready to do that. And it was just a funny kind of snuggly moment with my baby, who's now, you know, 15. [00:11:31] Speaker C: So, yeah, I, too, had a different God moment. And then Pam was talking about being in a different season and how to fully embrace. And when we were fortunate. We were. Well, not you, but Ann and I were fortunate to take some time off after Christmas. We did with our families. And that in itself was a God moment. But Saturday night after Christmas, I'm like, I wanna go back. I'm gonna go to St Patrick's in Macedon for Mass where I grew up and my mom. And it was the weirdest thing because I had already decided that I was gonna get up and go to St. Patrick's and then my mom texts. She's like, are you going to Mass tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, but I'm gonna go to St. Patrick's she's like, great. Can you pick me up? And so it was my mom and I at our old stomping ground. I didn't have any job other than being present. And it was very weird because the whole dynamic. I didn't know anybody. I shouldn't say I didn't know anybody. I knew maybe, like, three people. They had one cantor with a piano. [00:12:48] Speaker D: Okay, yeah, yeah. [00:12:52] Speaker C: One altar server. I mean, the whole dynamic of the Mass was so different than how St. Catherine's and transfiguration celebrates. But I kind of enjoyed the quietness of it. And it was just like, okay, sometimes I love our music, but sometimes it was just nice to just have bare bones. This is. [00:13:16] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a really cool thing to. When you're used to working in the church every week when you have a chance to go somewhere else, that can be very refreshing. [00:13:26] Speaker C: It was great. And the fact that it was. It was with my mom. And it was funny to see everyone's like, the people that we did know. Their faces when we both walked in, they're like, oh, my gosh, is the world ending? [00:13:39] Speaker B: Like, double take. [00:13:43] Speaker C: What do we. Oh, there's pleasure of both of you here. So, yeah, I mean, I know that we experience God moments at Mass, but it was much needed after the craziness of Christmas Eve Mass and just being on duty. [00:13:59] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:14:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:01] Speaker D: I'd love to go to other churches, but I feel like I sit there and I take notes. Oh, that's a good song. Yeah, that's a good song. [00:14:07] Speaker B: Occupational hazard. [00:14:08] Speaker D: That's where they put it. Oh, okay. Okay. Right. It's hard to unplug and just receive when we're usually the givers. It's nice to receive. [00:14:17] Speaker C: But I think also that's not only for ministers. I think for, like, parents and families and adults in general who. Sometimes we just get into this monotony of going to Mass and standing up and sitting down. And this was the other thing. They have kneelers at St Patrick's are. [00:14:37] Speaker B: We the only two parishes that don't have kneelers? [00:14:39] Speaker D: No. [00:14:39] Speaker B: In our diocese, no. [00:14:40] Speaker C: But I can't pinpoint who else. But it was really funny. Cause this church, it's old and it's not full, so. [00:14:53] Speaker B: I can hear every. [00:14:54] Speaker C: And then even walking up for communion, it was like. Like every stop of every person, it was like, maybe I do want some music during this part. [00:15:03] Speaker D: That's so funny. [00:15:06] Speaker C: Okay, let's get back to season of the second act. [00:15:09] Speaker B: Season of the second act. So one of the things we were wondering is, like, is retirement even a thing anymore? Because I look at a lot of the people that I've known who have. And some people do just, like, have the same job for 50 years, you know, retire. But I just feel like that's less and less common now. [00:15:30] Speaker D: Seems like it. [00:15:31] Speaker B: And I've definitely known some people who have been very intentional about what they want their retirement years to look like. And they're not retired at all. Like, I remember Tim Smith. He was our pastor associate first. I love him. And he was actually a retired fire chief. Chief. [00:15:49] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah. [00:15:50] Speaker B: And his wife Anne, as a nurse. And they spent their whole marriage on doing different shifts. Right. So they would, like, kind of pass. Pass in the night. And they raised their kids that way. And then when he. He retired early from the fire department. But similar to you, it was like he went right into ministry. And for him, I remember him saying to me, like, he. He didn't want to atrophy. That wasn't a word he used. But he wanted to make sure that in his retirement, he was still busy, he was still giving, he was still engaged, he was still. Not what you're thinking of your retirement. [00:16:30] Speaker C: No, not at all. Not at all. It's so funny because both of my parents and my in laws are both retired. And to see the difference of just their retirement is very interesting. You know, my in laws go down to Myrtle beach for two and a half months, but, you know, they'll make comments like, oh, we're so. Like, we're bored. There's nothing to do. And I'm like, there's nothing to do? What are you talking about? There's so much like. And, yeah, so, like, my retirement, Jer and I. I think Jer's on board with me. But as soon as we can. And we're just gonna travel and see the world or see around, you know, camping, whatever. But I just. I don't wanna be expected to be somewhere. Like, that's my biggest thing, you know, I don't wanna have a schedule where I have to be somewhere at a specific place. Cause I'm. I'm tired of that expectation. [00:17:37] Speaker B: I wonder if that's part of what you were saying. People advise you to take a year and don't do anything, even though that's not what you did. That might be where it comes from. Maybe you just need a reset because. [00:17:49] Speaker D: There is so much that you could do. You could sign up for all of the classes, you could go traveling. If you have the money. You could, you could, you could. And to experience that discomfort, one person said, you're gonna be uncomfortable because you're used to go, go, go, go, go. I said, that's kind of how I'm built. That's just what we do. And it was a little weird. I did have. You know when you're in the pool and you push off real hard from the edge, but you're not swimming yet. And then at some point, your own inertia, you almost feel like you go backwards a little bit. That was March, April, May. I mean, we went pretty much right into Lent. So there was church, of course, things to get ready, and we had the vigil. So there were big things to get ready last year, but there was that little bit of, whoa, I don't have to. I don't have to, but I don't have to. Who am I if I don't have to? Right? [00:18:50] Speaker C: So there was a little bit of. [00:18:52] Speaker D: A little bit of Self analysis and introspection. Like, whoa, what am I? Who am I? [00:18:58] Speaker B: And that was around the time that your youngest graduated from college too, wasn't it? [00:19:02] Speaker D: So he was out for a year already. [00:19:04] Speaker B: Okay. But still some big life changes happening at the same time. [00:19:08] Speaker D: Yeah, it's summer and then there's always things to do, but then there's less to do for choir. So it was. I did have a little bit of that. Just be. Just live. But we got a few things done for the house, which was wonderful. We discovered things that we never even remembered that we had. We got some rooms sort of like redone and cleaned out our in law apartment. And we did some things that I've been wanting to do for years. And I felt like, well, that's my job. My job is to do the things that I've been wanting to do but had to wait. There is no time with two jobs. So that was lots of fun. But I think that's part of the wisdom of take time. Don't rush to fill in that. Oh, that inertia that pulls you back and it feels like you aren't doing anything. So it was lovely to have that time, that space. And then we hit the fall and I took guitar lessons and I signed up for the. That may have been too much. [00:20:08] Speaker C: Now I have a question because your husband is still working. [00:20:11] Speaker D: He is, yeah. [00:20:12] Speaker C: So I know with. And I'm only going on what I know from both of my father and my father in law retired before my mom and my mother in law. Oh wow. Yeah. And my father in law, he can find stuff to do. I mean he woodworks, he fishes. I mean he's content with his day. And my dad doesn't have that many activities. But once my mom retired, that's when my dad got busy. Cause my mom is very similar with okay, let's go meet friends that we weren't able to have lunch with in the middle of the day or hey, let's just go camping for the week, you know, that type of thing. So is Dan a little jealous? Is now he thinking of retiring? What's. [00:21:01] Speaker D: Oh, the countdown. [00:21:02] Speaker C: What would that look like with both of you home? [00:21:05] Speaker D: I have no idea. Well, the good thing is Dan actually works the morning shift. So he's part time. But he goes in anywhere from 3, 3, 30. It depends. It's very seasonal with ups. So he's in first thing early, early morning and home 9:30, 10, 15, 30. So then he's always been the stay home parent. Honestly, it's worked out beautifully for Our family. So we only need a little bit of childcare for whoever wasn't going to school or their school started later. And then be he room parented and he got to do the things that. And it was wonderful because then there was always one of us somehow involved in the kids, which was wonderful. So during the day it feels like we're both not working at it, but there's always stuff that he's doing with, you know, the band boosters and, you know, things like that and singing and everything. And singing all over the place. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Bantering all over the place. Yeah. [00:22:04] Speaker B: Cool. [00:22:05] Speaker D: So someday, I don't know, we just got to get Connor to his own insurance. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Yep. You're almost to the empty. [00:22:13] Speaker C: We just need Connor to just jump over that to adulthood. [00:22:16] Speaker D: He just needs to know his own insurance. And then. So but yeah, yeah, maybe another two, three years maybe for Dan and then we can let that. Let UPS go and be thankful for all of the benefits that we've had. So, yeah, more changes coming. You know, we're in this weird, like five year transition, I think to the true second act. This is the. In a show, this would be intermission, basically. I like intermission. Yeah. [00:22:45] Speaker B: You know, I was thinking about. Do you remember John Belzano? Yes. [00:22:49] Speaker D: Oh, definitely. [00:22:50] Speaker B: I don't know if you ever got to meet him. He was a longtime transfiguration parishioner and he volunteered in so many. I think he was a cantor. [00:23:00] Speaker D: Yes. [00:23:01] Speaker B: He was a singer. He also was a retired math middle school teacher. So he helped me with middle school group. He helped with the Discovering Christ program. He helped with a bunch of liturgical things from RG and the men's group and everything. But I always think about him when I think about retirement because he did not have longevity in his family and all the men in his family died relatively young. And so he. I remember having these conversations with him. He very intentionally planned to retire as early as he could so that he would have time to do all the volunteer things that he wanted. And he actually. He died in Kentucky on the men's. [00:23:49] Speaker C: Oh, that's the same gentleman. [00:23:50] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:23:51] Speaker B: I think I probably told you about it. [00:23:52] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:23:52] Speaker C: I didn't connect. Okay. [00:23:53] Speaker B: But at his funeral, there was like an entire Little League baseball team that showed up in their uniforms that like, we didn't. He did so much for the church. We weren't even aware of what he was doing for the community. For the community in other ways. Wow. And I just think about him all the time because. Well, first of all, he's one of our parish patron saints, I think. But also just what a role model in having a vision for what your life could be. That was. And he loved his work as a middle school teacher and he continued to serve kids in other ways after that. But I don't know. That's just such an expression of freedom and knowing what you want your years to be spent doing. [00:24:39] Speaker D: How very intentional use of time and being very aware of, especially for him to know and to plan just in case this is possible. How do I. We should feel this way every day. How do I want to use this time that I have been given today? Not the time we have that we have been given because that puts a whole different spin. Well, today I am doing laundry with this time I have been given, right? [00:25:06] Speaker B: Yes. [00:25:06] Speaker C: And I'm doing it with gladness because I love my family. Yeah, we've talked about that. [00:25:11] Speaker D: I shall offer this up. I love hearing about your grandma. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Oh, offer it up. [00:25:16] Speaker D: Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot. Like, okay, I'm offering up. [00:25:20] Speaker B: That was like a whole generation of. I love that. [00:25:24] Speaker D: Oh, I love that. That's great. So, yeah, time. Time is the thing. And how do you want to use it? And what does it mean? And not to squander it now that you've been given this gift has been unlocked of now I can do all the things. Well, okay, There's a priority too. I'm realizing, like, oh, well, I could do all those things. What am I supposed to be doing? What's really the best use of my given time? Like, wow. So thank you for mentioning John because that really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? [00:26:02] Speaker B: Well, yeah, because it's this practice of discernment. [00:26:04] Speaker D: Right. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Like how we all can set a date to retire on the calendar. [00:26:09] Speaker C: So we're talking about retirement. But as we were just mentioning, like the time and what am I supposed to do? It got me thinking that I'm almost at that time where one of my kids is gonna be graduating and I was talking to a parent who their youngest is graduating and now they're going to be empty nesters and that can kind of. I mean, it's a different transition and a different thing and you won't have all the school stuff to drive back and forth. And I think what you're getting at. [00:26:45] Speaker B: Karen, is like the idea that you and I are sort of in a place where I have never thought about retirement. What? Well, not like planned for it because I could never see beyond the now. The now, like there's so much happening now and then. We have kids in college we have to pay for and, you know, all this stuff. And so I think about. I don't think I've let myself dream about or, like, what. Or plan, you know, what's happening in five years, what's happening in 10 years, what's happening? I just. I haven't made an actual intention. [00:27:26] Speaker C: Oh, I haven't either. Mine is all dreams. Every time I'm camping and I'm laying in my hammock, I'm like, this would be a good way to spend a. You know, I don't have to go back to work. I kind of felt that over Christmas break because Jeremy was off as well. The kids were off two weeks. [00:27:46] Speaker D: That was amazing. [00:27:48] Speaker C: And we had no plans. Like, there was nothing. There was maybe three things, but those were family fun things. But everything else, like, we just woke up and we're like, hey, what do you want to do today? And I got so used to that that when last Monday hit, it was a little brutal. [00:28:07] Speaker B: It was a little brutal. [00:28:08] Speaker C: Oh, my word. [00:28:09] Speaker D: Doesn't it show us how busy we are? That to have a simple gift of time of two weeks where there's no expectations, doesn't that make us go, wow, things are out of whack? We really do need to de. Stress, deconstraint de all of the things. And how do we do that? That's the real challenge. [00:28:34] Speaker B: When you're on that hamster wheel, it's really hard to see anything. [00:28:37] Speaker D: But you cannot. You try to get off, you're gonna have to. [00:28:40] Speaker B: And then you get off. [00:28:43] Speaker D: I feel that. [00:28:44] Speaker B: I definitely feel that. [00:28:45] Speaker C: Yeah, you have a scripture passage, and it called to me, Jeremiah 29, verse 11. God says, For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for woe, to give you a future of hope. And I read that. I'm like, all right, so tell me, what is it? [00:29:09] Speaker B: Tell me what my plan is. I'm ready to listen. [00:29:15] Speaker D: Out to me is and not for woe. [00:29:17] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:29:18] Speaker D: How full of woe do we feel our everyday can be? And it's not the whoa, poor is me, but it's the whoa. There's a lot going on. It's the other woe. Do you know what I mean? That's what jumped out to me. And having had nearly a year of taking down some of that woe, I realized that woe was very present. But it's our society, it's where we are. So being more intentional about self treats and Being more intentional about taking care of ourselves because, oh, I've been. I keep a whole list of quotes that just go kapow. You should be paying attention to this. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You can't. If the cup is empty, that's it. If you don't take care of yourself, then you have nothing left to give. And what you try to give will not be what you really want it to be. So I think having this time to just breathe and balance a little bit, it's like, okay, well, I should have been doing that years ago. But I think we could all do a better job of that balancing act, whatever that looks like, asking for help. Who asks for help? I'll do it. I'll do it. I got it. I got it. I think we could do a better job of supporting each other in community and recognizing when others might have whoa or whoa. And maybe we can all help each other to get to that two weeks and not think this is completely foreign and how nice it is and it'll never happen again. You know, I think we could do a better job in doing those things to take care of ourselves. [00:30:56] Speaker C: And what a role model you're being, right? No, like, in all honesty, like, if we are. You were just saying, like, society is always, always, always busy. But if us as parents or grandparents, and that's all we do is busyness, that's all that the kids are going to see, is that, oh, I can't have quiet time. [00:31:18] Speaker D: Right. [00:31:19] Speaker C: You know, I always have to be doing something. [00:31:21] Speaker D: My model is that we're busy all the time. We have that discussion in our family. We all tend to be the busy people. And I think, ooh, the seeds we have planted. Our kids are all the same way. They're also in their 20s, you know, heading into 30s, and this is the go, go, go, go I read about. I don't know if I'm gonna say it right. In retirement, the beginning years are go go. The middle years are slow go. The ending years are no go. Oh, wow. [00:31:53] Speaker C: Oh, the power of holy no. [00:31:56] Speaker D: Yes. Oh, holy napping and holy no. My two favorite things. [00:32:01] Speaker C: We talk about that so much yet. I mean, I'm good at holy napping, Holy. The Holy napping. I got the holy no. Still working on it. [00:32:09] Speaker B: One of the things where, you know, as I tiptoe into these years, where I am allowing myself to think about what could be next is, like, there's just this sense of freedom, of, like, if I didn't have to be. Not that I'm Ready to let it go. Cause I'm not. But if I didn't have to be at work three nights a week and working every Sunday, what would my life look like? And what ways could I share my gifts in new. In a different way, what new opportunities could I take advantage of or explore? And that's what I think is so interesting about people who are doing retirement, like, in stages. Like you are. [00:32:45] Speaker C: Right. [00:32:46] Speaker B: Because it gives you a lot of, I don't know, openness and freedom to kind of play with that. [00:32:52] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:32:53] Speaker D: There will be a day when all shall be revealed and the alarm clock will never, ever ring. [00:33:00] Speaker B: Oh, man. [00:33:02] Speaker D: To think about that. And if the weather is bad, like, we just stay home. We could just. We could just stream the mass. You know, it is especially as. As ministers in the church, I think it is especially delicious to think there could be a time when, oh gosh, we get to just receive. And it's not just receive, but we could receive. Wouldn't that be lovely? We love to give. We would not do this if we did not love to give. We love our people. We love our families. We love our choir and our bell choir and our parish families. But there will be a time when we get to have the gift of receiving. And it'll be so lovely because we will understand all it took to provide those gifts to us. And it's kind of nice to know that we're the behind the scenes people right now. It'll be fun to be on the other side and just be the people that say that was the most incredible teen thing ever. Because we will understand what it took to make all that happen. So we get to be cheerleaders. You know, that's something that we will understand and we'll get to do and offer that to others who come after us. Whenever that happens, you know, we'll just be. It'll just be really nice someday. [00:34:22] Speaker B: Cool. [00:34:23] Speaker C: I think that's a great stop. [00:34:27] Speaker B: Do you have any advice? You said this is your chance to give unpleasant. Well, it's solicited advice, but advice for us as we head into. [00:34:35] Speaker D: Oh, write down your thoughts. Write down your. Gosh. Wouldn't it be nice if. Wouldn't it be great if. [00:34:42] Speaker C: Wouldn't it be great if. [00:34:43] Speaker D: Wouldn't it be great if. Write those down. I had that little running list of when I retire. I could. Could. I like that. Not. [00:34:51] Speaker B: I will. [00:34:52] Speaker D: Nope. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Not. [00:34:53] Speaker D: I have to take guitar lessons. [00:34:55] Speaker B: I could. [00:34:55] Speaker D: I could join a Bible study. I could clean the in law apartment. I could. And it was nice to say, well, this piece is ending, but I'm not standing on the edge of a cliff going, well, what now? There are possibilities for my stepping stones forward or even I like the stone that I'm on right now. And I have no particular plan to leave it. I may just sit here for a while, but just that. But write down your things. One of your questions was dreams or plans for the next piece, whatever that is. Writing things down is so powerful, and I have lists on my reminder app that are for everything. But one of them still says, when I retire because I'm sort of in that middle zone right now. [00:35:38] Speaker B: You're still working every Sunday. Here's a scripture passage to go along with that thought. Philippians 1:6. And I am sure of this, that the God who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. So, you know, just the next chapter, the second act doesn't mean things are over. It's the second act. Right. Everything exciting happens in the second act, I think. Right. We'll play. [00:36:02] Speaker D: And if it's a snacky show, there's a third act. Popcorn. [00:36:08] Speaker B: I love that. [00:36:10] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:36:11] Speaker B: That's it. Good. [00:36:12] Speaker C: Thanks, Pam. [00:36:13] Speaker B: Thanks for being with us. [00:36:15] Speaker C: I'm so glad that when I walked into the office that one day, you're like, hey, do you remember when you said. And I was like, a year ago, I was like, you're just gonna have to come on. So thanks for taking the time from your day and sharing it with us. [00:36:31] Speaker B: And thanks for all you do for our parishes and helping us to pray with music. [00:36:35] Speaker D: Thank you. Absolutely. My pleasure, my honor. Love it. All right. [00:36:39] Speaker B: Okay, that's a wrap. Hey, guys, have a great week and we'll see you back here next time. [00:36:42] Speaker C: Bye. [00:36:42] Speaker D: Sing loud. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Thanks for taking a faith break with us today. Karen Luke and Ann Gallagher, our lay minister with the parishes of St. Catherine of Siena in Menden, New York, and Church of the Transfiguration in Pittsford, New York. More about our parishes, including weekly live streamed Sunday Mass, can be [email protected] thanks to our special guest today, Pam McInerney. Engineering Today is by Jeff Beckett. Join us for new episodes of Faith Break each week in Studio on YouTube or on your favorite audio podcast or music applied.