[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Faith Break. Finding God moments in your everyday. Each week on Faith Break, hosts Karen Luke and Ann Gallagher bring spiritual refreshment to your daily life.
It's March 23rd, and Karen and Ann, welcome back finance director Dan Hofford. Dan will share creative ways to be generous with the gifts God has given us during Lent and beyond.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Faith Break. I am Ann Gallagher.
[00:00:41] Speaker C: And I am Karen Luke.
[00:00:42] Speaker B: And we are joined again today by our work friend Dan Hofford, our finance director, who is here to help us talk to you guys today about the Lenten practice of almsgiving.
[00:00:52] Speaker D: Yeah, thanks for having me back.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: It's like right up your alley, right? You're our first repeat guest, by the way.
[00:00:57] Speaker D: I'm honored. I'm honored.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: So you get a gold star for that. Should we just start by sharing our God moments?
[00:01:05] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: You want to go first, Karen?
[00:01:07] Speaker C: Sure.
So I just wanted to share. We had the right of election. So the right of election is for the participants who are going through ocia, which is the Order of Christian initiation. So if they're not Catholic and they want to be immersed into our faith and they go to the cathedral and there's a whole rite that the bishop does with them to welcome them into the last couple of weeks of their journey to be received into the church on Holy Saturday. And so my God moment was just seeing how many people are coming into our church this year. Like hundreds. Our local church, not just our teachers, the diocese.
So we have candidates who are. They've already been baptized, but will be making communion and. Or confirmation. And then catechumens are those that are coming in baptism, communion, and confirmation. And if you've ever been to the. You've been to the cathedral. I don't know if you have all of the candidates and catechumens fit in the front, like 13, 14 rows. I mean, it was all just catechumens. Everyone else who was visiting was on the sides or up in the choir loft.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: So a full house.
[00:02:27] Speaker C: Full house. And it was just like, oh. And it was just so interesting because I had said to somebody in my family, and they're like, why are they coming into the church with everything going on? And I'm like, because there's a fire. You know, there's this wanting, this spiritualness, this journey that they wanna be. And it was just really interesting, you know, Cause we have so much going on in our world, but there are people who just yearn and want that faith and those practices. So that was my God moment. It was just like.
[00:03:02] Speaker B: Yes. I was just actually reading something earlier in the week about that, like, post pandemic, they're actually finding that churches kind of across the country are seeing more of an uptick now as people are.
I don't know.
[00:03:17] Speaker C: I can see that emerging from those years.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: They're looking for.
[00:03:20] Speaker D: Seeking truth and seeking answers.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Looking for spiritual connection, a community.
[00:03:23] Speaker C: And it was just a good feeling to know that, you know, it's happening.
[00:03:29] Speaker B: That God is moving because it's easy to get discouraged.
[00:03:31] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. What about you, too?
[00:03:35] Speaker D: Yeah, I'll go. So it's kind of a good and a bad thing. I got a call from a good friend of mine earlier in the week that was. Had done something he shouldn't have and was. Was, you know, feeling really bad about it and. But knew he needed to confess it and speak to somebody and get prayer. And it was, it was nice to be able to. To be there. Right. Because, I mean, you know, none of us are perfect. And there are times where I'm like, even man, I'm not. I'm not a good enough Christian or I'm not. I'm not walking the walk. But in those moments, you know, you can be there for somebody. And, and we prayed together. I believe he's, you know, he was sincere and, and we'll. We'll make that change. And, but. And then just to see the, The. The grace and the mercy he felt, you know, he's like, man, after we prayed, I just felt totally different. And, you know, no, not because of me. I mean, glory to God. But. But it was just good to be able to be there for a friend like that and, and, you know, have those type of. Type of connections.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: No, it was because of you, though. Because we. Like how some of my regrets in life are when I've told someone I'll pray for them and I haven't been like, let's pray right now.
[00:04:48] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:48] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: You know, it's such a powerful thing to offer somebody.
[00:04:52] Speaker D: Absolutely. I think that's huge. I mean, we. And nowadays, I mean, you see this in Twitter, X or social media. I'll pray for you. And it's good. You know, we should say that. But how often is it. Is it just. It's like a cliche almost.
[00:05:08] Speaker C: Right.
[00:05:08] Speaker D: If you're going to do it, do it right in the moment.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: You mean it when you say it, but you don't always remember to follow through.
[00:05:13] Speaker D: Yep. So anyways, that was, it was. It was nice to be there.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Mine is real simple this week. You Guys, I. You know how, like, going to bed early is not a thing that I'm very good at. Like, I have a hard time, like, turning it off and then going to bed, but I have been asleep before 10:00 the last three nights.
[00:05:32] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So part of what, you know, I haven't talked to you about it, but I've talked to you about it is for Lent. I'm trying to fast from late nights at least four nights a week, because I know I can't do it seven nights, but I'm trying to do it four nights a week. And so today's Wednesday, and I've done it for three.
[00:05:46] Speaker C: That's actually three nights in a row.
[00:05:47] Speaker B: So I'm like, this is awesome. Okay.
[00:05:49] Speaker C: And how do you feel in the morning?
[00:05:51] Speaker B: I'm ready for anything.
[00:05:52] Speaker D: All right, great.
[00:05:54] Speaker B: I'm ready to go.
[00:05:55] Speaker C: Awesome. I love it.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: Yep. So. All right. So should we talk about.
[00:05:59] Speaker C: Let's talk about almsgiving.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: Almsgiving.
[00:06:01] Speaker C: So there's many types of almsgiving.
[00:06:02] Speaker B: Yes. And we've already talked about fasting and prayer.
First two, Lent and discipline. So this is the third one, alms giving. And I feel like I don't think we talk about it as much as Catholics. I think during Lent, we spend a lot of time talking about what are you giving up. Right.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Maybe like adding some prayer in and we say, oh, yeah, and almsgiving, but we don't.
I don't know.
[00:06:26] Speaker C: I don't think we're good with it any time of the year.
[00:06:29] Speaker B: That's true. That's why we have Dan here today.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: So maybe we can talk a little bit about what sort of special almsgiving initiatives our two parishes are doing first just during Lent, and then maybe kind of talk about possibilities more openly.
[00:06:48] Speaker D: Sure. Right.
[00:06:49] Speaker C: Well, what is the importance? I think maybe that would be a good.
[00:06:52] Speaker D: Actually, can I make a distinction, too? Yeah.
Because even when you asked me to do this, you know, in my mind. So I. Where I come from, you know, we use more. We don't use the term almsgiving much. So. And then being in this finance director role and always thinking about, you know, how much people are giving and is it meeting the church's needs, et cetera, you know, my mind went straight towards offerings. Right. And so, you know, tithing. Tithing. Right. So I come from, you know, where we might say tithes and offerings. Right.
And so let me just kind of define a few different things. Right, yeah. Tithing in the true Old Testament sense is giving 1/10. Right. It was something that they did.
That money went towards the synagogue or church or the temple. It helped the priests. But, you know, you would get the word literally, the root comes. It means 10, right? 10%.
And so a lot of churches nowadays do do that. They require that. How they do that, I don't know. It depends on the church, but.
And then, you know, it's sort of like Xerox. You make a copy, you make a Xerox. You know, some say use it in a general sense, meaning just, you know, giving to the. To the church to help meet the church's needs. What we might here call Sunday offerings or regular offerings. And then there's this, you know, you say tithes and offerings and offerings is kind of going above and beyond your tithe. And a lot of times it's giving to. You might still be giving to the church, but it's for a particular ministry or it's for a particular campaign, or it might be giving outside of the church. So I looked up almsgiving, though, and almsgiving is giving specifically to help those in need for the financially poor people. So I just want to make sure that everybody in our podcast understands that almsgiving is. Is really giving to the poor. And so anyways, go back to what.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: You were saying, like, additionally to whatever you would normally give to the church. And I've spoken to people, too, who have striven to, like, say they take 10% of their income and maybe they give 5 to their parish community, 5% and 5% to other charities, other charities that their conscience leads them to or whatever.
Yeah, this is not something that Catholics talk about a lot. I don't think we've talked about tithing much. I mean, we've had, like, stewardship drives, but not in a long time.
[00:09:20] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't think we actually. I mean, we.
I don't think we use the word frequently enough for people. And I think it. I think it scares some people too, with, like, oh, 10%.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: Like, oh, yeah, you know.
[00:09:35] Speaker C: Oh, it has to be 10%. No, it doesn't have, you know.
[00:09:41] Speaker D: Sorry, sorry. Another quick thing. So technically, I looked up what is the church.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: The Catholic Church.
[00:09:46] Speaker D: The Catholic Church official teaching on it. And it doesn't require tithing. I mean, I'd have to. Maybe we can put the canon law in the notes here, Jeff. But it talks about, you know, if you're a Catholic, you are. I don't have to use the word required, but it is expected that you give to the church, but it's not a tithe. You give. You give sacrificially. You give what you're led. You give generously, but it's not a tie. There's no percentage giving, percentage given. Now, that being said, there's. I've seen Barna studies over the years that, you know, if you look at the different denominations. For what it's worth, this isn't a criticism, but Catholics are near the bottom. It's like 2 or 3%. And I think, you know, the evangelicals are close to the top. And then, like, you know, you get like Mormons that are like, they're knocking out of the park 10% or more. So for what it's worth.
[00:10:45] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's fair.
That's fair.
[00:10:48] Speaker C: I guess I didn't really know the full differences. So that was.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: And it's interesting, too. Cause I think we're always walking this balance, like, because the church is not a country club. Right. You don't. Your membership in it isn't dependent on what you can give back or like any. Like, literally everyone is welcome. Right. So it's like. But then. Right. So that you can't. I don't know. I'm uncomfortable setting those bars. But on the other hand, everything we have, we have because of God and to live in a spirit of generosity and to hold everything we have in open hands and to be. To realize that we've been given it for a purpose that is not just.
[00:11:26] Speaker C: Yeah, well, if you're.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: Our own, enrichment is a. You know, that's a value we can cultivate.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: I think we've. We've talked about, too, where people will give whatever overage they have for that month instead of, like, taking it from what they already have.
[00:11:44] Speaker D: Right.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: You know, so, like, oh, sacrificial giving where, you know, you might have to not have a Dunkin Donuts coffee because, you know, you have to sacrifice that because you already have that commitment. Whereas I think a lot of people are like, okay, whatever I have left over is what I'll give. And that's not really the sacrificial giving, because you don't have that need or want or giving something, having to make that choice in between.
[00:12:17] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:12:18] Speaker D: I think it's. Excuse me. It's easy for us as people that work inside the church, and me in particular, especially when I go to finance council meetings or I'm giving reports about our bottom line. And I think it is. It is important for people to understand because a lot of times I'll even have people ask me, so what do you do, Dan? For work? They don't realize that I'm a paid staff member. That's okay. I get it.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: It happens.
[00:12:45] Speaker D: But it's just the point that a lot of people, they don't understand that a church, like any household, has all its expenses. We have very high insurance premiums. We pay gas and electric, and all of our buildings and facilities need maintenance. And our biggest cost is salaries. And that's probably the case for most organizations.
So it is important that people understand that. That there is, I would say, if you call yourself, if you're a parishioner or if you consider yourself part of the community, that there is some sense of obligation to make sure that things are. That the financial needs are met. Now, there's also. It's a reciprocal relationship, right? It's our responsibility to make sure that we're being good stewards and we're. We're spending money wisely and things like that. So. So that is important for folks to know that. You know, that being said, giving really is a matter of the heart. And I think the. The best verse is 2nd Corinthians 9. I'll just read this here real quick.
Consider this. Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly. And whoever sows bountifully. Bountifully will reap bountifully. Each must do as already determined without sadness or compulsion. And this is the best part here, for God loves a cheerful giver. Right?
There's not a percentage given here, right?
[00:14:15] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:16] Speaker D: It's talking about giving sacrificially.
And like you said, Karen, don't give from our leftover. And that's. If you take anything from tithing. It's not so much the percentage, it's the order in which you give, right?
Give first.
Whatever percent you set aside, you give that first. And then you take care of the most important things in your family. And then if there's money left over in savings. Right. And then if there's money left over, buy a Dunkin Donuts or whatever it is.
So in the, you know, I like to ask, I guess, two questions. Where is your trust?
Right. What are you trusting in?
And I'll give a couple of personal examples. Sorry, I'm speaking a lot here.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: That's why we invited you on.
[00:15:11] Speaker D: Because I don't. I don't like to say this to people without.
Without walking it myself. Right. So prior to this job, I.
I had a. My own business. And it took a few years before we made any sort of money. And we had gotten a call from a friend overseas who needed money we didn't have?
[00:15:33] Speaker C: Was it a legit friend? Not like a prince.
[00:15:38] Speaker D: It was legit. It was legit.
It took us a few years to figure that out, but, yes, it was legit. So we just said, okay. And we just had a sermon about. About this. So, okay, we're gonna send the money.
And at that time, our stove was also busted. It was before Thanksgiving and the oven broke, so we had to cook our turkey across the street.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:16:03] Speaker D: So anyways, we gave the money, and then, I don't know, it was maybe a week later, we get a text or a call, I don't remember, from somebody in the church who was asking for help moving their son. Oh, and by the way, they have a stove oven that they don't want. They want to get a new one. And it was like, the amount we. I looked it up on online. The amount that we gave was almost exactly the amount of that stove, and it was only, like, 2 years old. It was a beautiful stove. So. And I can just. You know, countless times that sort of thing has happened to us. Countless. I'm not bragging that we give, but it has happened when we're really challenged. But we give and we just, okay, God, we trust you.
It has come back to us.
And then the second question is, what is on your mind? Right. If something.
And this could be anything, but today we're talking about money. So let's talk about money. If it's. If it's. Maybe you're stressed about your budget or you're. Or you're paying your bills, or you're thinking about buying a new car that you really don't need but you want, whatever the case. Or it's something, you know, and these aren't necessarily bad things. It could be your business owner and your job you're thinking about meeting, you know, paying the bills, et cetera. But if that thinking is moving you away from thinking about God or godly things, then it's a problem. And it's an. And it's a distraction. And that's where you need to reset your heart. So that's all I have to say about that. So let's talk a little more, and then we'll talk specifically about almsgiving and during Lent.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: Yeah, well, really, what you're talking about is having. It sounds like an attitude of abundance rather than scarcity. Right. All those things like trusting that God's going to provide. And if something's being asked of you for you to provide, that God's going to return.
[00:18:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:18:02] Speaker B: And I, you know, like, I don't think God always returns things financially. That's kind of. Sometimes we have graces that are, you know, so that's an important thing to know when we're having these conversations. But that's what it means to have to live a life generously. Right. And it can be your money, it can be your time, it can be your talent, it can be your presence.
That's your attention.
[00:18:24] Speaker D: That's right. Yeah. Let me. I'll clarify that, too. The examples I was giving. Right. A lot of times, and I don't want to send the impression, like you see these TV folks, that you give and we're gonna. No, that's not my point. My. My point is give and trust. And usually we're blessed for that and not always financially, but we shouldn't give with an expectation that we'll be blessed. That's not just give and trust, period. Yeah. A lot of times our blessings are. They're not going to be financial. They're going to be something that happens. Relationships in our family or friends. And keep in mind, too, we live in a time and place where we. By world standards, we're all rich.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: Right.
[00:19:08] Speaker D: I mean, even the, Even the poor in America, compared to a lot of places, probably the majority of the world is rich. And I don't say that in a demeaning way. It's just there are people picking food out of garbage dumps today as we speak. Right.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: Well, and that's a good segue actually, too, because each of our parishes is focusing on a specific Lenten almsgiving recipient. And both of them happen to be focused on global solidarity and the fact that we're one human family in connection with, you know, people around the world. So at transfiguration, we're raising money for the next phase of our work with Food for the Poor in El Salvador through Global Solidarity committee. And at St. Catherine's we're working on Operation Rice bowl, which is CRS Catholic Relief Services.
It's kind of the global branch of the Catholic Charities.
[00:20:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: So very focused on what's happening around the world and how we can help our brothers and sisters.
[00:20:13] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: Everywhere.
[00:20:14] Speaker C: I think that's one of. I mean, yes, we have things going on in our own towns or cities, states, but it's also important. Like you were saying, one of the things. And I'll throw Father Rob in here. So he. He's really good at this. When it's really cold and I'll come in, I'll be like, oh, my gosh, I'm so cold, which is rare, that I'm cold. And he's like, well, do you have a jacket? Do you have clothes to put on? And I was like, yeah. And then it's like, oh, I'm starving. Are ya? Are you really starving? Cause I think he had breakfast this morning. So putting it into context of what we're going through is really not anything compared to the families who are picking through, you know, garbage dumps or somebody sleeping with their whole family in a alcove of a store, you know, and one of my favorite scripture passages is from Matthew 25, whatever you did for the least of me, you did. Or I'm sorry for the least of these, you did for me. So with that mindset of, like, you're not giving or doing to receive anything other than just giving and being generous.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: And not just because it's the right thing to do, but because, like, we believe that every human person is a child of God and deserves human dignity, and that, in fact, like, when we are in relationship with the poor and when we're taking care of the poor, we're taking care of God present in.
[00:21:53] Speaker C: Them or anybody in general.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: Like, Right.
[00:21:56] Speaker C: The words you say to people, the behaviors you have when you're walking into a store or just even, like, please and thank you to a waitress or.
[00:22:07] Speaker D: Whoever, even if it's someone that has a different political view than us. Right.
Because nowadays. Right. I mean, that's important.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: Not easy, but important.
[00:22:22] Speaker D: We run the spectrum politically in our own churches. And so, I mean, we need to lead that by example anyways. Not to distract us from you.
[00:22:31] Speaker C: No, I love that. Because how different would it be if we talk to people who are different from us, Ethnicity, culturally, politically, whatever, but we image them as we were talking to Jesus, how different our interactions would be.
And it's like, whoa.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: Like, yeah, that's made in the image and likeness of God.
[00:23:01] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, it just. It puts in a whole different perspective of. Because Jesus didn't care. Right.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: Yeah. We need more of this in our world today, in our country today, for sure.
[00:23:12] Speaker C: Yeah. All right, so let's get into some Lent practical ideas of almsgiving.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Okay. I want to give a shout out, because I actually did, of course, I did an online search for ideas.
[00:23:22] Speaker C: Of course you did.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: I found a ton of stuff on the website of the Divine Word missionaries, which I don't know anything of, their Catholic mission organization that I know nothing about other than they have an awesome website with lots of. Lots of creative ideas for almsgiving and lent so.
And maybe you guys came with your own ideas and we can just kind of shout out some creative ways to think about almsgiving during Lent. But I think the first one, which we haven't actually talked about yet, I think, is a lot of people try to connect their Lenten fasting and their Lenten sacrifice to their giving somehow. So, like, if you gave up. Duncan.
[00:24:02] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:24:04] Speaker B: I'm. Okay.
[00:24:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: And I'm. I'm not saying anyone should.
[00:24:08] Speaker D: She's not even drinking it. We just purposely put it there.
[00:24:11] Speaker C: Coffee. It's hot chocolate.
A caffeine addiction.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Right. Okay. But if you had given.
[00:24:15] Speaker D: That's even worse because you don't need hot chocolate. You need coffee.
[00:24:19] Speaker B: Listen, speak for yourself.
[00:24:20] Speaker D: I'm joking.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: But whatever you gave up, say it cost you money. That you would give that money to whatever cause you wanted to give. Or if you were saving time, giving up time, doing something else, you would use that time to.
[00:24:35] Speaker C: Yeah. For example. So like, if you were to go to.
I'm not just gonna shout out Dunkin, but like Starbucks or the local gas station, you know? Cause I don't wanna be favorites or something. But like, if you go there every day and you spend $25 a week on coffee or tea or hot chocolate, instead of doing that, that $25 would go to somewhere else.
[00:24:59] Speaker B: So that's one way to do it.
[00:25:00] Speaker C: That's one way to do it. Yep.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Cause you're connecting. Yeah. It's a real easy way to make the. Connect those dots between your sacrifice and what the world needs. Yep. So that's something to think about during Lent. Um, other ideas. Do you guys have any other ideas to get us started before?
[00:25:17] Speaker D: Yeah, I. I like the idea that doing, you know, Helping.
Making dinner for somebody. Right.
Or.
[00:25:28] Speaker C: And not your leftovers and not your leftovers. Right.
[00:25:32] Speaker D: And homemade. I mean, you know, buying a meal is nice too, especially if you're a bad cook. But, you know, but taking the time to make a meal and, you know, helping a family member that you wouldn't normally help. And maybe those aren't, you know, maybe they're not poor. Right. So maybe that's not true. Almsgiving.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: Right.
[00:25:50] Speaker D: But it still is. It's something that you can do to kind of get.
[00:25:53] Speaker B: There are different ways to be poor too, though. I remember when we were. When we had our first baby, one of the nicest baby gifts somebody gave us was a gift card to the restaurant down the street. Cause we were poor for time.
[00:26:04] Speaker D: Sure, sure.
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Poor for energy and poor for, you know. So thinking about Things that way, too. Yeah, but.
[00:26:12] Speaker D: And I guess the. The idea that, you know, and please give to the Rice bowl and global solidarity, by all means. Those are great ministries that we want to support.
But, you know, again, I'm putting my finance director hat on. I want people to know that, like, well, yes, we do have a record of what people give for tax purposes, but we're not sitting around the room and looking at what did this person give and what did that. We're not it like that. That's not the point.
And so feel free to give outside of the church, is what I'm saying. Right. And that's, you know, as our call is to be salt and light in the world outside of our church walls. So little examples like that where you can give locally.
[00:26:57] Speaker C: We talked about this. I don't even remember when. But statistically, people are giving to more outside organizations than they have in the past. And it's not necessarily like our parents and our grandparents. Their sole donations were to their parish, and now it's more to outside organizations. So I cringe when we are at a meeting for parish council and people are like, oh, our donations are down. I'm like, but people are still donating. They're just not. It's a different mindset.
So I just wanted to throw that out there, that we're not saying, like, we're horrible because you don't give to the church.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: But.
[00:27:44] Speaker C: I like the things where I can connect with my kids. So, like, not only picking up food for a food shelter, but going to deliver it with the kids. I think that's really important. And one of my frustrations at our parishes is that we always collect.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: We collect a lot of things.
[00:28:03] Speaker C: We collect a lot of things, and only certain people actually give it, like, take it to where it needs to be. And I would love for you guys to challenge yourselves to.
[00:28:15] Speaker B: It's a different experience to serve a meal than it is to donate money.
[00:28:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Or not even that. But I mean, if you're donating food, that's wonderful. But go to the shelter or go to the food pantry and drop it off yourself instead of dropping it off at the parish.
[00:28:32] Speaker D: Move towards making a personal connection.
[00:28:35] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:28:36] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, that's.
I agree with that. So I.
I live. I live in the city.
I live in a neighborhood where, I mean, literally a block away is one of the bridges where people. It's probably. There's. There's one of two on 104 that are notorious for. I mean, right now, it. It's really bad and there's a new face there every day and there's tents and, and, and we, this is a personal thing.
My, my wife and I years ago decided not to give money because my wife had someone that was close, that was a drug addict. So it was a very personal decision. But, but what we tell our kids is always say hello, always give a smile. I'll roll my window. Hey, how you doing? Ask their name. It doesn't make me, you know, a better person or any of that, but always treat them with dignity, respect. And we will sometimes give food, you know, in this. The suggestion here gives a car kit. And I've seen that before, a bottle of water and things like that.
[00:29:40] Speaker B: Socks.
[00:29:41] Speaker D: And this is a conversation for another time that maybe we could do another podcast on.
[00:29:46] Speaker C: You just want to be a third time guest. We get you.
[00:29:49] Speaker D: I'm putting the plug in there.
[00:29:50] Speaker B: We're going to give you a mug when you hit five. We have to get the mugs made first, though.
[00:29:54] Speaker C: We need our own mugs first.
[00:29:56] Speaker D: I want a hat. Can I get a hat?
[00:29:57] Speaker B: You got to ask Jeff. He's in charge of the merch.
[00:30:02] Speaker D: But I like the idea of moving towards connection.
And I say that, I mean that for a number of reasons. But the downside to giving to people is for the folks that live in that community, sometimes that's a challenge because then people may not be seeking other services that they need. And for the folk, this is where I live, it's working class folks, middle class folks. We take care of our neighborhood.
The worst crime we have in our neighborhood is, is from those, not all of them, but a lot of those folks that are going through the neighborhood, they're, they're maybe addicted or they maybe have other issues, but they're leaving needles around or they leave stuff and then the, the rats come and, and get in the neighborhood. And this is not, I'm not being judgmental. I'm not. I'm just saying think about that. When you, when you give, consider that it's a lot more complex.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: It's not about making you feel good for having gifts.
[00:31:05] Speaker D: That's right. It's about treating that person move towards something more personal that is really just.
[00:31:11] Speaker B: And if you can connect people to services, that's even absolutely.
[00:31:14] Speaker D: That's, that's really, that's. I guess really where I'm trying to get is let's get people connected to the services they need. And, and that's not easy.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Trust me.
[00:31:22] Speaker D: It's not easy.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: Right.
[00:31:24] Speaker D: But just something to keep in mind when we do that.
[00:31:27] Speaker B: Yeah. That's good.
One of the cool kind of sub lists that I found on this website was ways to practice detachment in your giving. I thought this was really cool. So it's the idea that, like, we're being generous and with the gifts that God has given us, the abundance that God has given us, but also, like, we're not going to be. Like, we're going to be open to the call. Right. We're going to be discerning, and we're going to be listening. And then when the call comes, we're going to be ready to move and be generous. So these were some suggestions about how to practice that spiritual virtue of detachment. So the first one was let your kids pick how you will give alms each month. Like, have a certain amount that you set aside every month or whatever, and let your kids figure out what they want to do with it. And then just.
[00:32:16] Speaker C: And it's not to buy candy.
[00:32:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
You might want to set a few parameters if your kids are really little, especially.
[00:32:24] Speaker C: I know exactly what my. My child would be.
[00:32:26] Speaker D: One for them, one for me, one.
[00:32:28] Speaker C: For them, three for me, one for you.
But I think that's what's really important is not only the teachable moments in lives for kids, but teachable moments for adults. Right. I mean, we never graduate from our faith. We're always on this journey. We're always growing. So it's not a matter of, like, feeling guilty for not doing it previously, but growing into that more spiritual thoughtfulness of generosity and not that guilt. Oh, I should do it because that's what I believe.
[00:33:07] Speaker D: Or I should do it because that's what I'm told.
[00:33:09] Speaker C: That's what I'm told. Right. Like, we should do it because that's what Jesus taught us.
And the teachable moments for everybody is really important, I think.
[00:33:22] Speaker D: And I love this idea of detachment.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: Right.
[00:33:25] Speaker D: I mean, we just have so much stuff in our house. Oh.
And a lot of our stuff is. It's not like, you know, stuff that we got. Hand me downs or my aunt and uncle's getting a new couch, so we got their old ones.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: You know, all our furniture is handy downs.
[00:33:43] Speaker D: It feels like clutter to me. And the amount of time.
[00:33:45] Speaker C: I don't know if Dan knows one of your.
[00:33:47] Speaker B: I'm gonna let him finish, and then I'm gonna share. I know. Cause we haven't seen you in a while.
[00:33:51] Speaker C: We might have to call your wife and explain this to her because you're.
[00:33:55] Speaker D: As long as you don't give her more Stuff.
[00:33:56] Speaker C: No, no, no, no. You're gonna be totally on board with this.
[00:33:59] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: We're about to give you a good idea.
[00:34:01] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:34:01] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:34:01] Speaker D: I'm all for it.
[00:34:03] Speaker C: Teachable moment.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:04] Speaker D: But, you know, this idea that we spend time managing our stuff, you know, you guys have seen my office.
There's really nothing in my office. Right. So you kind of get how I am.
[00:34:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:34:18] Speaker C: And you kind of see my office.
[00:34:20] Speaker B: All this stuff is in Karen's office.
[00:34:23] Speaker D: And I'm not throwing, you know, you or my wife under the bus or anything here, but at home, I feel like, man, I'm spending so much time moving stuff, and now it's kind of a running joke in our family, putting things in bins and building shelves for it. And. And there is some practical, you know, necessity to it. Right. If our winter clothes.
[00:34:43] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:34:44] Speaker D: You know, we need to move them out of the way, whatever. But I think if I wasn't doing this, I could be spending time with my wife or children or exercising or praying or whatever. Fill in the blank. So I just. I like that idea of detachment, and I think, you know, I think that's a important part of moving towards this, you know, this almsgiving as a way of life. Right. Because if we're managing our stuff, it takes us away from giving to others.
[00:35:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:18] Speaker B: I almost texted you, tell me this idea.
[00:35:20] Speaker C: Now, I have a funny story about.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: That, because we said we were gonna be accountability buddies, and then the weekend got crazy. But. So there's this lenten challenge called 40 bags in 40 days. Have you heard of it?
[00:35:30] Speaker D: I heard you mention it.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: So the idea is that you take one bag of stuff out of your house for each of the 40 days of Lent, and it could be garbage or.
[00:35:39] Speaker C: Look, do you see his eye out?
[00:35:41] Speaker B: It could be to donate. It could be to. I guess it could be to sell, but that's not really the idea. So that we did this as a family, like, probably 10 years ago, when my kids were, like. They were just moving out of, like, the baby phase, Right. And we were getting ready to sell our tiny house, and. And we just. We needed to make the house ready to sell, and so we did this, and it was awesome. And then, like, every year since then, we've thought about doing it, and I just have not done this.
[00:36:06] Speaker C: So then you moved into a bigger house.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, my house is still not that big.
[00:36:10] Speaker C: Right. But you moved into more space.
[00:36:12] Speaker B: We moved into more space, but now the kids are teenagers, and we have all their big kids stuff that they don't need anymore. And so we've decided this is the year. And so my update as we're taping this. We're about a weekend to lent. And we have thrown out seven or eight bags of trash. And I have.
In our gu. In the office, the couch is covered with donations, so I don't know how many bags that's gonna end up with. And I have a list of all the areas in the house that we are going through. And I'm. Yeah. So I did. Over the weekend, I did all the kitchen cabinets on the bottom and I did a couple of other little things. And yeah, Brian, we got started on the basement. But it's like, it's the idea of. We. We talked about this in the fasting episode. It's. Fasting is like you give up stuff to make space for God to have to spacious. Spaciousness for God and for your life.
[00:37:03] Speaker C: Yeah. Not more space to just fill other stuff in.
[00:37:06] Speaker B: But we were just.
[00:37:06] Speaker D: So now we're getting with the fine here. We're not talking about little Ziploc bags either. Right. We're talking about. These are garbage bags full, you know, 10 gallon.
[00:37:14] Speaker C: Yeah, there we go.
[00:37:17] Speaker B: No. And so. And so. But the donating stuff takes more work than throwing it out. Right? Cause I'm like, I'm sure we have like glassware and stuff we're never going to use, but you got to like get boxes for that and wrap it up and then take it to the place and like, you know, so that's what we're working on next. But that might. This might be a good thing for.
[00:37:32] Speaker D: I'll pitch it. I'm going to pitch it.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: You can tell them we're doing it too. We can send pictures. I know you said something about areas of your house.
[00:37:39] Speaker C: Yes. I'm going to focus on one area of the house each week. And I have. I'm slowly working on the bedroom. Cause I'm really bad.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: That's a good place to start.
[00:37:49] Speaker C: I'm really bad about putting laundry away. I hate it. And so, like, when people come over, all the laundry ends up just in our bedroom. Cause it's the only place that like has a door. And so I'm just trying to like declutter that area. But it's funny that you said that about time. Because our kitchen is the only room that's like closed off from the rest of our house.
And I don't know how we have so many dishes. There's only four of us in our house. I have no idea how we accumulate. So Many dishes. And every time Jeremy wants to cook, he's like, I gotta spend 20 minutes cleaning the kitchen before I can actually cook.
[00:38:27] Speaker B: Bed is loaded.
[00:38:28] Speaker C: And I know. And I don't. He'll totally acknowledge that. So one year I was like, I'm just gonna do four plates, four bowls, four glasses.
[00:38:38] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:38:39] Speaker C: Four. Four. You know, like everything.
And it lasted, like three days.
[00:38:44] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:38:44] Speaker C: Because the kids found them and just, like, grabbed more. And I was like, okay, so if I'm going to do this, I need to, like, actually get rid of.
[00:38:50] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:38:51] Speaker C: But then it.
[00:38:52] Speaker B: That's cool.
[00:38:52] Speaker C: It did work. But then I'm like, well, what if people come over?
[00:38:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:55] Speaker C: They don't have plates for them.
[00:38:57] Speaker D: So you have your. Your second.
But you got to lock it so the kids can't.
[00:39:04] Speaker C: Or me. I. I shouldn't throw the kids under the bus because I was also involved in that.
[00:39:08] Speaker B: But.
[00:39:09] Speaker C: But yeah, I mean, it is like.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: Yeah, we're attached to our stuff.
[00:39:14] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:39:14] Speaker B: We can be more. Okay. Detachment. Detachment. Next one. So we said, let your kids pick. Commit to giving money to the next good cause that crosses your path. So, like, the. Just like, whatever the next ask is.
[00:39:28] Speaker C: Hey, dan, I need $50.
[00:39:32] Speaker D: I haven't committed yet.
[00:39:38] Speaker B: Oh. Ask your pastor or spiritual advisor what an area of need is.
Yeah. And then there's talking about cleaning, clearing out unnecessary items. We've been talking about that one.
[00:39:51] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:39:52] Speaker D: So another idea in this, it's not about detachment, per se. It's not about money, But I think it's, I guess be more about time. And I don't know is when you see somebody at church that is new or that is different or whatever the case is, standing there by themselves, go talk to them. Right. And people will say that. And sometimes we say that in a very mean or judgmental way. No, listen, if I go to church, I see my buddy, I want to go see them. It might be the only time I've seen them that week. There's nothing wrong with that. Right.
One of the reasons, you know, one of the good things about going to church is we build relationships. Right.
But try to always, you know, maybe you can do both. I'm going to see my buddies today, but I'm going to seek out one person that I don't know because it's easy. It's easy. Especially if you're, you know, after church, everybody's gathering, you're catching up. If there's a visitor there, there's somebody who's a little strange or offbeat, whatever the case. Right. Like Me, I'm a little strange, right?
[00:41:01] Speaker C: Stop talking about me.
[00:41:04] Speaker D: But, you know, they might leave and they might say, well, gosh, nobody said anything to me. And, and it wasn't a good experience for them. And, you know, if you're mature in your faith, you, you, you go into church and, you know, if I go into church and nobody says hi to me, well, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna say, well, they really hate me because I, I have this understanding, right. I'm not gonna, you know, say, oh, I'm never going back to that church.
But if I'm not as mature in my faith, I might very well feel that way. Or if I'm at a place of whatever vulnerability or I'm going through something and, you know, nobody reaches out, that can be a really tough experience. So the almsgiving is you making that sacrifice and getting out of your comfort zone, I guess, is what I'm saying. Get out of your comfort zone and just go, go, go be. And you don't have to, like, bring him. Bring him over to your house and, but at least have a conversation and be open to where the Lord takes it.
[00:42:04] Speaker B: Yep. I like that. It's all about being open to being mobilized for where the Holy Spirit wants you to go.
Yeah.
Okay, guys, we covered a lot. Yeah.
[00:42:19] Speaker C: Do you have any last minute things you want to mention or.
[00:42:25] Speaker D: I think I'm good.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: I think we can wrap it up then.
[00:42:27] Speaker C: All right, thank you everybody for again watching. Tuning in. Dan, thanks for coming on a second time.
[00:42:35] Speaker D: Yeah, thanks for having me back.
[00:42:37] Speaker C: And we will see you guys next week.
[00:42:38] Speaker D: I gotta get that mug.
[00:42:39] Speaker B: Mug hat. We'll work on it.
[00:42:42] Speaker C: Bye, everyone.
[00:42:43] Speaker B: Have a great week.
[00:42:44] Speaker A: Thanks for taking a faith break with us today. Karen Luke and Ann Gallagher are lay ministers with the parishes of St. Catherine of Siena in Menden, New York, and Church of the Transfiguration in Pittsford, New York. More about our parishes, including weekly live streamed Sunday mass, can be
[email protected] or transfigurationpittsford.org thanks to our special guests today. Dan Hofford Engineering today is by Jeff Beckett. Join us for new episodes of Faith Break each week in Studio on YouTube or on your favorite audio podcast or music.
