[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Faith Break. Finding God moments in your everyday. Each week on Faith Break, hosts Karen, Luke and Ann Gallagher bring spiritual refreshment to your daily life.
It's February 16th, and today Karen and Anne welcome their spouses, Jeremy and Brian to the podcast. Looking back on their decades of marriage, they discuss how they've learned to make it all work and celebrate loving each other through the seasons of life.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Faith Break. This is a very special episode of our podcast.
I'm Anne Gallagher.
[00:00:46] Speaker C: And I am Karen. And these are our husbands.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: We have Brian and Jeremy here with us today. Our lovely spouses who put up with being married to ministers and all of our crazy work hours and everything. And so we figured in honor of Valentine's Day, we're gonna do a husband's on the hot seat episode.
[00:01:05] Speaker C: That's why they're in the middle. Uh huh.
[00:01:07] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:01:07] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:01:12] Speaker C: All right, so as always, we start our episodes with a God moment.
And we have told our husbands that they have to think of a God moment too.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: So do you think we should start first?
[00:01:23] Speaker C: Yeah, we probably should start. So they.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: What's your God moment?
[00:01:26] Speaker C: So my God moment is last week or a week ago. Two weeks ago, we took a trip to Men in Ponds to feed the chickadees. But it was all of our families. It was us and my two best friends and their families and kids. And so it was just really nice because we don't usually get together a lot consistently. So it was nice when we do carve out that time to just hang out and have fun. And the kids range from, see, Ella is no Addie.
Three years.
[00:02:01] Speaker A: Three.
[00:02:02] Speaker C: Three or four and then up to 13. So it was a lot of fun.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: You guys got some beautiful pictures too. Did you take the pictures?
[00:02:10] Speaker E: We all did.
[00:02:11] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:02:11] Speaker C: You know, you took that one of the bird with the.
[00:02:14] Speaker D: That looked like it was with the wings.
[00:02:16] Speaker C: With the wings? Yeah, the birds with the wings. Usually all birds have wings, so that's my God moment. It's just being out in nature with friends and family.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:02:26] Speaker C: It's yours.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: Okay. So there is a saga in our household about the garbage cans.
Jeff. We were talking about this the other day, our garbage can in our kitchen, the handle fell off like two years ago, and we just haven't replaced it. And it bothers me every day. But we just like. So a couple of months ago we were at the store and like, we're just gonna replace all the garbage cans. And I got a selection of them, none of which were the right size. Like the Ones I got for the bathroom were too small. The one I got for the kitchen was too big and didn't fit under the sink. And we just been dealing with it, and I was complaining about it last week. I was like, this is something that makes every day a little harder for me. Right. And then a couple of days ago, I get home from work, and there's a package on the front stoop, and it's like this wide and this tall. It's, like, comically large box. And I go to pick it up, and it weighs nothing. And I'm like. So I text Brian. I was like, brian, what did you order in this box? And he's like, just open it. And I opened it, and he had ordered. He had measured under the sink and ordered me the exact right.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: Garbage can.
[00:03:34] Speaker B: Yeah. That is my God moment. A super surprise gift from my lovely husband.
[00:03:40] Speaker D: A garbage can.
[00:03:41] Speaker B: It was a garbage can. And it's gonna make every day a little bit better.
[00:03:45] Speaker D: It's the little things. That's awesome.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: All right, you go next.
[00:03:48] Speaker D: Oh, mine's actually kind of recent, but takes into account a couple of things, so it was really recent. I was at mass today, Sarah, when she got up and spoke today, I just had this thought, like, here is a teen that is using that teenager risky, don't care about a lot of things. Behavior to get up and share things to the congregation and to also share things to. She helps with confirmation. She's using that, like, putting herself forward. And I'm like, that's a lot for someone her age. And she's really good at it. So I took a minute or two to, like, just have a quick chat with her and tell her. So.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: Yeah, Sarah was, I guess, on our podcast a couple weeks ago, so people might know who you're talking about.
[00:04:37] Speaker D: Yeah. But she's just, like, using that energy.
It's good. It's good.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: Awesome.
[00:04:43] Speaker C: All right. What's yours, Jeremy?
[00:04:45] Speaker E: Well, I don't have a specific one, but I think a lot of times there's just little moments throughout the day, and it doesn't have to be anything grandiose, but, like, for instance, just coming home and being with the family and seeing the kids smile and just small things like that, that if you stop and take some time, that that's kind of what, you know, this is all about. And those are my little, I think, God moments throughout the week or throughout the. Throughout the month.
[00:05:16] Speaker C: I remember I mentioned one when Emma was swimming, just seeing her smiling, like, after her meets and stuff. Yeah.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Okay, so we have A couple of questions we're gonna get into. I thought it'd be kind of fun to let everybody see into our family lives a little bit and maybe learn a little bit more about us. So do you guys want to talk about how you met or what it was like in the early days when you were dating? Cause you guys have a really good story.
[00:05:47] Speaker E: Yeah, you can start.
[00:05:49] Speaker C: I can start. Okay. So we actually have known each other for 38ish years. We met in Mrs. Robinson's kindergarten class.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: That's so cute.
[00:06:01] Speaker C: So we are high school sweethearts, if you want to put that title on.
We have been dating for. Well, we were. No, we've been together as a couple for 26 years. Married 18.
So we started dating in high school, obviously. Do you wanna tell the story of how we started dating?
[00:06:24] Speaker E: I needed a date for the prom, as you do. Yep.
[00:06:30] Speaker C: Well, didn't you ask somebody before me and they said no?
[00:06:34] Speaker E: I don't think so. No.
[00:06:35] Speaker C: I thought that was the story.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:06:37] Speaker C: I was. Oh, that makes it better.
[00:06:41] Speaker E: Yeah. So I promised coming up, and I needed a date and ended up asking Karen and sort of the rest is history.
[00:06:51] Speaker C: Pretty much, yeah. Except you asked your friend to ask me if I would say yes first.
[00:06:57] Speaker B: Naturally.
[00:07:00] Speaker E: Doesn't everybody?
[00:07:01] Speaker C: He didn't want the no first. And then I had to wait until 9:30 for you to actually call. Do you remember that?
[00:07:07] Speaker E: I do, yes. When do I call you? As soon as I got home from school. That was. I had to wait a little bit.
[00:07:14] Speaker C: So like literally that day, his best friend Mitch pulls me into the cafeteria and he's like, if Jeremy were to ask you to the prom, what would you say? And I was like, he needs to ask me. I'm not gonna give you an answer. I didn't answer.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: Make him work for him.
[00:07:27] Speaker C: So then I got all excited. Cause we had known each other, we were in youth group together and church and all that.
[00:07:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Since you were five years old.
[00:07:33] Speaker C: Yeah, since we were five. And I actually called one of my friends and she came over and we waited literally like a puppy dog.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: By the phone.
[00:07:43] Speaker C: By the phone. And finally she's like, I have to go home. And I'm like, go ahead. And then 9:30, he finally asked. So I don't think my parents had caller id, so we never knew who was calling. But I kind of figured it probably was because no one usually called.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: So you answered.
[00:07:58] Speaker C: So I answered.
I was like, give me that.
So, yeah, that's our story.
[00:08:05] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:08:06] Speaker C: So we didn't.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: We didn't Meet until I was at a cop. We met as adults.
[00:08:12] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: And so depending on who we tell the story to, we either tell people that we met at a Catholic young adult event or that we met in a bar. And both are true.
[00:08:24] Speaker D: Because both are true.
[00:08:26] Speaker C: I know what you're talking about.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So we were introduced by mutual friends who are sisters.
[00:08:33] Speaker D: Right.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: And the sister I was closer introduced is like. Like you do.
[00:08:41] Speaker D: We were at the same event. I don't know if they. Like, it wasn't like they weren't setting us up.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: No, it wasn't a setup. It was a thing called Theology on Tap, which my friend Nora, who worked at the diocese at the time, was running for young adults.
[00:08:53] Speaker D: And Nora's younger sister was his best.
[00:08:55] Speaker B: Friend from high school. And Nora was afraid nobody was gonna show up, so she called her sister and was like, call all your friends. Get him to come. So tell them about what got.
[00:09:04] Speaker D: You guys weren't Catholic.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: Well, you were Catholic.
[00:09:07] Speaker D: Yeah. But Monica called me and said Nora needs people to come because it's her first time. And she's like, she said, afraid no one was gonna show up. So me and my motley crew of roommates show up, none of whom were.
[00:09:21] Speaker B: Churchgoers or Catholic even, I think.
[00:09:25] Speaker D: Yeah, but they're all great.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: They're all.
[00:09:27] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: People, I think.
[00:09:29] Speaker D: Yeah. So we show up and.
Yeah, it was really.
I tell it like, it's cliche, but it really was love at first sight for me. Like, it really was. No, like, it was like an instant connection for me. And I just walked right up and asked.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: He walked right up during the break and introduced himself and asked me for my number and. Karen, you're gonna love this. I don't know if I ever told you this whole story.
[00:09:51] Speaker D: Very cliche.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: So this was on, like a Thursday night.
[00:09:54] Speaker C: Did you wait by the phone firm to call, too?
[00:09:56] Speaker B: Well, no, because Friday I was running a middle school lock in overnight on Friday night the next day, which is not something I'm ever gonna do again. But.
So I had, like dozens of middle schoolers all night long playing basketball and doing church things. And I had. I didn't sleep, and I got home and he had left a voicemail.
[00:10:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: And it's like, can I take you out tonight? So I went on our first date having not had any sleep the night before or really real food to speak.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: Yeah, I was like, cracked potato chips and soda all night, Right?
[00:10:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Cold pizza. So I liked him enough to go on a date with him, even though I had not slept or Eaten and had been in the company of sweaty, smelly, teeny middle schoolers for 24 hours in a row.
[00:10:48] Speaker C: Those lock ins are. Thank gosh, those are done.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: Do you guys have any other memories of, like, early times? Well, I guess you guys didn't have to, like, meet each other's families and stuff, because you already kind of knew each other.
[00:11:01] Speaker C: Yes. I mean, we went to the same church.
We grew up in Macedon, so it was a small town, so it wasn't like we didn't.
[00:11:10] Speaker E: Everyone kind of knew everyone else to some extent. Yeah.
[00:11:14] Speaker C: So, yeah, we just.
I can't remember yesterday. Like, it's sometimes, like, thinking about it. We have different versions of what happened in, like, some of our stories. Like, when we talk about it.
[00:11:29] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[00:11:30] Speaker C: Like, we were trying to think of what our first date was like. Our first.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Because before the prom.
[00:11:35] Speaker C: Before the prom. Yeah. So he asked me, and I was like, well, we know each other, but we didn't really, like, have the same friend group, so, like, to, like, outside of church or school. So I was like, well, we probably should go out and kind of get to know each other on a different level.
And I have no recollection of what we did. Like, none.
[00:11:59] Speaker E: I think it was over dinner, but that was quite a while ago, so.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:05] Speaker C: I have no idea.
[00:12:06] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:12:07] Speaker C: None. But, yeah, that's okay.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: Yeah, it's okay.
[00:12:12] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, we have lots of memories, but.
[00:12:15] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:15] Speaker B: Do you want to tell the story about the first time you met my extended family?
[00:12:20] Speaker D: Yeah.
Yeah. It was Christmas, I believe. Oh.
[00:12:25] Speaker B: So we met in. This was fast. So we met in October, late October.
[00:12:30] Speaker D: And I went to Maine for Thanksgiving.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: You were away for Thanksgiving, but by Christmas time, you came to my family. Christmas, Right.
[00:12:36] Speaker C: Wow. Like, two months.
[00:12:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:37] Speaker D: Right. Yeah.
No, no. And I'm hesitating. Like, it was bad. It wasn't.
I had a great time. But I believe the story Anne is thinking of is her Uncle Tom, which I was sitting in a chair in the living room at her aunt's house, and he said to me. He's like, how do you like that chair? And I said, oh, it's okay. And he said to me, my dad died in that chair.
[00:13:04] Speaker C: And I.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: He was totally messing with me.
[00:13:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:07] Speaker D: And I. I was like, yeah, it's a comfortable chair.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: And that's when they knew he was gonna fit right in.
[00:13:14] Speaker E: Welcome to the family.
[00:13:15] Speaker D: Welcome to the family.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: I was like, what are you doing?
[00:13:18] Speaker C: Actually, I do remember. Cause you're extended Jer's, all of his cousins, and aunts and uncles are, like, out in Utica, and mine are all from Rochester. And every Sunday we would do dinner. Well, actually brunch at my one grandma's, and then we'd walk around the corner to my other grandma's for dinner. So it was like every Sunday thing.
And my dad played softball, so it was just like, that's what we did every Sunday. And I remember when we first started dating, you're like, hey, do you want to go out on Sunday? And I was like, I have dinner at my grandma's. She's like, you were just there last weekend. I'm like, oh, this is an every weekend thing.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: This happens every weekend.
[00:13:57] Speaker C: And he's like, I don't understand what that means.
[00:14:01] Speaker E: It was a bit of an adjustment.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: It's a lot of family.
[00:14:03] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, I. I come from a very big family, so I think that was, like, a funny adjustment. It wasn't like, not meeting them wasn't weird, but it was just how much we get together.
[00:14:16] Speaker E: Yeah. It's like, what do you mean? You see your family every weekend, but it's good. I've grown to really enjoy those times.
[00:14:25] Speaker D: So.
[00:14:26] Speaker E: Yeah, it was an adjustment or quick adjustment I needed to make.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: That's awesome.
Do you want to talk about the wedding? Planning your wedding?
[00:14:40] Speaker C: Sure.
Well, do you wanna.
[00:14:44] Speaker B: Or anything about your wedding day that you want to share?
[00:14:46] Speaker D: Yeah, mostly. Me and your mother did a lot of, like.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I was not into planning the wedding. No, well, we. I think we were. I was more into planning the ceremony. Yeah, you and I have talked about that.
[00:14:57] Speaker D: I wanted to try all the food and the places.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Yeah, Brian and my mom pretty much picked everything out.
[00:15:02] Speaker D: That's cool.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: But no, I. I just. What I remember about planning the wedding the worst.
[00:15:09] Speaker D: Oh, I know what you're gonna say.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: Was, we had a Christmas wedding. Our anniversary is the 27th, so.
Because all my cousins were home and Anyway, it was a good time to have a wedding. But I just remember on Christmas Day, we had to do the seating chart for who was gonna sit. I don't know. Why did we wait so long to do that?
[00:15:29] Speaker D: Because nobody wanted to sit next to anyone else.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: But then there's all this, like, people who can't be near other people.
I just remember on Christmas day just, like, having an absolute panic attack at the Christmas dinner with all, like. Because I was like, she had the cards laid out. Oh, my gosh. That was the absolute worst.
But the best thing was the best advice we got for our wedding.
[00:15:52] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: You wanna talk about it.
[00:15:54] Speaker D: No, you can talk about it. It's cause. It's cause the advice was given to you. So.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: Okay. So you know, Michael Tyson used to work at the diocese. My mentor, he told me the best advice for our wedding day ever. And he was like. He and his wife Mary, when they got married, instead of doing a receiving line at the reception, they stood together at the entrance of the church as people were coming into the wedding, and they greeted everybody as they were coming into the cere. And they said that by the time, like, it just got rid of all their nerves. Right. Because they had already said. Seen all of their loved ones and had smiles and everything. And then they walked down the aisle together.
Because I wasn't into the idea of being given away.
[00:16:35] Speaker D: And like, everyone does. Feels like they've already said hello to you, so they're not, like, rushing to you at the end. It just makes it, like, nice and relaxed because. And even later, they're not, like, trying to, you know, get. Get one on one time. Yeah, it was great.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: So that was the best thing.
[00:16:50] Speaker C: I wish we had that advice.
[00:16:51] Speaker D: It was really good.
[00:16:52] Speaker E: It's a good idea.
[00:16:57] Speaker C: But, like, I had. Speaking of that, I had aunts, like, and uncles trying to sneak into the room that I was in to, like, see me before. And I'm like, you're the last person I want to see.
[00:17:06] Speaker D: And we just. We handled that as people came in.
[00:17:09] Speaker C: Yeah. That's really cool. I love that.
[00:17:10] Speaker D: I remember, like, people were like.
Because they come to the church doors and we're just standing there, and they were like, you know, they had kind of shocked. A lot of people had the kind of shocked looks. But we're like, no, we're just greeting everyone coming in. That's great. Yeah.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: What do you guys remember about your wedding day?
[00:17:26] Speaker C: We were similar in terms of, like, we really thought about the ceremony. I think at that point we just were, like, totally excited just to be married.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:37] Speaker C: Cause we were together for eight years before you proposed, give or take. And that was, like, through college. So, I mean, it doesn't feel. It didn't feel weird to wait that long because we, you know, did the whole college thing and everything.
[00:17:53] Speaker E: But I remember we were being kind of cost conscious about everything. So we did. We tried to do as much as we could to the planning just ourselves. So we put together the, you know, the centerpieces and a lot of decorations and the invitations, and I think that helps, you know, one. Bring us closer. Before, prior to the weddings, we were doing a lot of things Together and kind of taking ownership of all the stuff we needed to take care of. So that was a good looking back. That was a good experience.
[00:18:24] Speaker C: Yeah. And we had similar. We got married over Thanksgiving weekend, so we did similarly. You know, family was in town and everything, so we actually hosted. Do you remember? We hosted Thanksgiving at our. At the apartment Jeremy was living at.
[00:18:39] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:18:40] Speaker C: Before I moved in.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:18:42] Speaker C: With his family. And so.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: On your wedding weekend.
[00:18:46] Speaker C: Yeah. So that was Thanksgiving Thursday. And then Friday we had the rehearsal dinner, and Saturday we got married.
[00:18:53] Speaker E: But we used to have more things to do that weekend.
[00:18:56] Speaker C: Yeah. And I have no idea how that. How that all happened, but we, like, looking back on our pictures for our wedding and everything. Like, my godparents were involved in the readings. My confirmation sponsor, his nephew, who wasn't part of the wedding party, but he's, like, seven years younger than us, so more of like a brother than a nephew. But like, the eucharistic ministry, like, we had that all. They were very connected with who we were as a couple.
So we actually spent. I think my sister was like, you need to get flowers. And I was like, oh, I do. Like, we. It just was like, you know, the reception was like, what do you want for a meal package? I'm like, food. Like, I don't think we did a tasting or anything like that. We were just focused about the actual, like, the marriage. Getting married, and then. But, well, going back. So before the wedding, we had, like, talked about getting married and doing all that. And I said, I won't say yes unless I know that you have asked my parent. Like, I was more of, like, the traditional.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: Oh, really?
[00:20:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: Interesting. I wouldn't have guessed.
[00:20:06] Speaker C: And so it was funny because he proposed at my apartment, and the first. Before I said yes, I looked at him like, did you ask my parents?
Yes, yes, Yes, I did. I was like, okay, then yes.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: That is so funny, because Brian knew absolutely under no circumstances to ask my parents first.
That's funny.
[00:20:33] Speaker E: There's more pressure asking your parents than asking you, probably.
[00:20:37] Speaker C: Well, the funny part about that. What did my dad say to you?
[00:20:44] Speaker E: Once you're married, you can't bring her back.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: No exchanges.
[00:20:47] Speaker C: No exchanges.
She's now yours.
Thanks, Dad. I guess.
[00:20:57] Speaker B: Okay, how about advice for marriage? Advice? Oh, my gosh. Do you want to talk about anything you guys have learned over the years about how to make this whole thing work?
[00:21:08] Speaker D: You mean us?
[00:21:10] Speaker B: Yeah, we're gonna put the husbands on the side.
[00:21:12] Speaker D: Oh, geez.
[00:21:13] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: Or whatever.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: We'll let them go first.
[00:21:16] Speaker D: Let's Go first.
[00:21:17] Speaker C: We usually talk.
[00:21:21] Speaker D: I don't know, you just gotta, like, make sure you're, like, in for the whole package. You talk about, like, I don't know, you talk about, like, a lot of times talk about how, like, oh, you're always supporting my. I was like, well, that was part of the deal when we got married. Like, it was always gonna be helping with service and helping with all that stuff. And, you know, that was actually kind of central theme in some of our wedding readings, too. So just make sure you know what you're getting into, really, and be able to roll.
[00:21:52] Speaker C: Know what you're getting into. No, no.
[00:21:54] Speaker D: I mean, in all seriousness, the, Like, I think the. Some of the best advice for marriage is to know that it is not static. Like, you're.
[00:22:05] Speaker B: Seasons.
[00:22:06] Speaker D: Yeah. Like, you're not gonna, like, be the Same people in 20 years that you were, you know, when you first got married. So, like, you know, the wedding is for you and the family, and the marriage is for, you know, is. Is for the couple. And the marriage takes, you know, till the end to really develop, and it continues to develop, and it's not going to be the same every year. And there's going to be, you know, there's going to be, like, you said, seasons and be ups and downs, and you just got to roll with it. You just got to, you know, just got to be ready for it. And I know that the, you know, that, you know, the first couple of years, that, like, integration season is really tough. No, it is.
[00:22:43] Speaker C: It's tough.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Nobody talks about it.
[00:22:45] Speaker D: Nobody talks about people. People think, oh, we're married. Let's. Okay, let's move in together, and everything's going.
You dump all your stuff together and you're like, whoa, okay, that was for me.
[00:22:53] Speaker B: He moved all his stuff in. In a giant pile into my tiny little.
[00:22:57] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: And I almost moved back.
[00:23:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:02] Speaker B: No, but.
[00:23:02] Speaker D: But like. But that's the thing. No one said that. No one told us that was gonna happen.
[00:23:07] Speaker C: Right.
[00:23:07] Speaker D: Like, no one told that was gonna happen. And so, like, we had. You had to roll with it. You had to learn to integrate your lives, your emotions, your physical stuff. And then, you know, now it's just like 20 years later. It's like, you know, it's like, you know, what's. You know, you kind of grow together. And this is just, you know, I.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Definitely think the first year of marriage and the first year of parenthood were the toughest.
[00:23:30] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, major changes.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: Yeah. And you have to change, especially when, like, our Our firstborn.
[00:23:38] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Was the one who didn't sleep ever. The perfect baby as long as someone was holding him, and that was rough.
[00:23:47] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: We had to really learn how to be there for each other in a different way.
Yeah.
[00:23:55] Speaker D: And you do, right? Yeah, you do. And I think, like, you know, approaching marriage sacramentally really helps, you know? Of course it helps, but, like, you know, like, it's. You know, it's. It's just us, and, you know, we have to, you know, work through everything, so. Yeah.
[00:24:15] Speaker C: How about you, Jer?
[00:24:18] Speaker E: I think one of the bigger things is just being a good listener and being, you know, there for your spouse and being open, and, you know, that goes a long way.
Like, case in point, today, when you asked to come on this podcast.
[00:24:39] Speaker D: Were you voluntold?
No, not really.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Frank gets voluntold all the time.
[00:24:47] Speaker D: Yes. Yes.
[00:24:47] Speaker B: He's remarkably cheerful about it.
[00:24:49] Speaker D: I actually don't mind being voluntold, but, you know, I do jokingly say that word a lot, so it's fine.
[00:24:55] Speaker E: But initially, you know, I was a little hesitant because it's not the first thing I would do on my own.
[00:25:01] Speaker D: Me too.
[00:25:02] Speaker E: But, you know, just listened and was open, and here we are. So that's just a little. That. Give and take that a little bit every day. That makes things go smoothly. So. Yeah.
[00:25:18] Speaker C: Yeah, I think that was.
You guys were talking about your firstborn and the communication and all that, and Jeremy loves his sleep, and that was a point of contention for us because I was like, all right, I'm gonna put the bassinet on your side of the bed. Because in my mind, we are in this together, right? And I ended up, like. I think it was what I gave it, three days maybe, and I ended up having to get up out of bed and walk around, grab Emma and bring her back. I was like, all right, never mind.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: But those early days are so hard.
[00:25:53] Speaker C: It was hard. It was. But interesting.
I just got done with two baptism prep couples this morning. This morning.
[00:26:02] Speaker B: They were so cute.
[00:26:03] Speaker C: They were so cute. And the one thing that I talk to them about, I mean, we're talking about marriage and everything, but the one thing I make sure I tell them is.
And I think we've done really good with this, is that you're a couple before your parents, and so, like, how to be a good spouse, I think is really taking that time to prioritize your relationship.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: Oh, for sure.
[00:26:32] Speaker C: Over. I mean, yes, we love our children, but they wouldn't be here without us.
And I'm gonna shout out to Leslie Barkin Cause she. Once we had Emma. She was the one that mentioned that to us. And we're fortunate that we have both sets of parents right around the corner that we can be like, hey, we wanna go to Goodwill or Lowe's by ourselves.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: So exciting.
[00:26:59] Speaker C: I know. We got so excited to. But I think to acknowledge that making sure that you take time for yourselves as a couple, once you get into having the kids, is really important because then the kids see the solid foundation and that.
[00:27:16] Speaker D: Yeah, we used to hold a date night.
[00:27:19] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:27:19] Speaker C: Thursday nights.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: My mom would always come.
[00:27:21] Speaker D: Yeah, it was good to hold that kind of sacred, honestly.
[00:27:25] Speaker C: Like, it was like, isn't it great now that the kids can stay home by themselves?
[00:27:29] Speaker B: So we were just like, order them a pizza out of here.
I was remembering. Remembering a homily that Deacon Eric gave that really? Deacon Eric gave that really.
[00:27:38] Speaker D: It spread out some of my friends now as I told the story.
[00:27:41] Speaker B: Yeah, he is very open. He and Marlene are very open about the fact that they had a rough patch in their marriage and, like, you know, really had to do some work to kind of pull things together. And since then, he has taken it upon himself to make sure that Marlene always has one fresh rose by her on her bedside table. And it was like a metaphor, almost for him to say, like, it's my job and my responsibility to take care of her, and I'm gonna make sure this one little thing is always there. It's just kind of like it changes your whole perspective. Right. That was the homily where he talks about your relationship being like a. Like a bank. You have to make deposits.
[00:28:23] Speaker D: It's a strange metaphor, but it works.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: Make frequent and regular deposits and not just withdrawals.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: Not just withdrawals.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Because that was one of the most practical things I ever heard in church. And, yeah, it really impacted, I think, how we. Because you gotta, like, saw our marriage after that.
[00:28:40] Speaker D: Exactly. You gotta care for each other. You gotta make sure you do it.
[00:28:43] Speaker C: Yeah. I think that's the biggest point. Right.
[00:28:46] Speaker D: Because people think marriages just happen. They just. Cause. Yeah, but they don't. Marriage is. You work at it.
[00:28:52] Speaker E: It's work and it's effort.
[00:28:53] Speaker D: It's working and suffer. Cause if it's not, then you don't really have a marriage. You just have people who live together and, you know.
[00:29:00] Speaker B: So, yeah, it's not complicated, but it takes daily attention. Right.
Do you guys want to say anything about what it's like to be married? To us, To a minister?
[00:29:11] Speaker D: Oh, you mean to be a ministry widow?
[00:29:13] Speaker B: Is that it?
We Thought we'd just give you guys a chance to complain if you wanted.
[00:29:18] Speaker D: No, it's not really.
I have a friend at work who's since retired, but her husband's a rabbi. So we, we swap ministry widow stories often.
[00:29:30] Speaker B: So many nights in.
[00:29:31] Speaker D: So many nights and weekends. But you know, it's like I had said before, it's like what, like that is what supports your, you know, your whole, your whole ministry. So it's, you know, like, you know, I'm not a, you know, not a babysitter. Like I, you know.
[00:29:48] Speaker B: Well, that's been, I think a benefit is that, you know, you were always like a super hands on dad, even when the kids were tiny because I was away several nights a week the whole time. And before they were born probably too right. You're like, and before they were born.
[00:30:02] Speaker D: I would like volunteer youth group or whatever. So I was already kind of doing some of that stuff with you.
So, you know, but just a lot of nights and weekends, you know, and a lot, a lot to schedule and you know, like, you know, it's, it's nice when. It's nice when, because, you know, I teach high school, so it's nice when the Easter break is not on Holy Week. Not like this year Easter week is on Holy Week. It's like, that's a full week of work. So, you know, you know, I, you know, I'll have some break, but you don't.
So, you know, it's, it's just, you know, knowing what comes with that territory. It's not, you know, it's not. I, I don't find it difficult or. I have nothing to complain about. That's all.
[00:30:45] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:30:46] Speaker C: So giving you the.
[00:30:48] Speaker B: Jeremy, would you care to complain? No, I'm just kidding. Sorry.
[00:30:53] Speaker E: No, honestly, no.
You know, you've been doing this line of work since we've been together, so realistically, I don't know any different.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: Right.
[00:31:02] Speaker D: Yeah, same boat. Right.
You knew what you were coming into.
[00:31:05] Speaker E: I mean, some job descriptions say, you know, must work nights and weekends and yours says must work nights and holidays and it's a little different, but yeah, sound like surprise.
[00:31:18] Speaker D: I'm a Euthamist and I surprise.
[00:31:21] Speaker E: But a lot of times, you know, you come home and have great stories about what happened that day. Like again, baptisms and, you know those, you know, watching families have these sacraments and all the positives that come with that. And I'm sure you guys are in the same boat, so it's good to hear those positive experiences. So it's been good yeah.
[00:31:45] Speaker C: Except for Christmas Eve and again, Holy Days.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:50] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:31:50] Speaker B: I don't know any better. No.
[00:31:51] Speaker D: And you gotta, like, you know that's happening, so you plan for it.
[00:31:57] Speaker C: Right?
[00:31:57] Speaker D: It's not like it's like. It's not a surprise. Oh, you gotta be there all Easter week. I'm so shocked.
[00:32:02] Speaker C: No, it's like. I think it was. It was more stress. I think it's more stressful for me. I'm not gonna talk about you, but.
Because I've shared this with Ann before, and I'm sure I've shared it with you, it's like I feel sometimes like I'm giving more priority to my parish family because of being present in these Holy Days, that I should be present with my own family. And I know we've struggled with coming together as a family to Mass because I get called to do different things. And when the kids were little, they would follow me up on the altar or whatever. And I don't think we've ever had a chance to just sit and experience Mass together outside of a funeral or a wedding because, you know, we're busy. So I guess that would be the only.
[00:33:07] Speaker B: Occupational hazard.
[00:33:08] Speaker C: Occupational hazard. But, I mean, for the most part, I've.
Like you said, we've.
I've been doing this since we.
Before we got married, so, I mean, it wasn't anything.
[00:33:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: So. Oh, sorry.
[00:33:24] Speaker D: Well, no, she just reminded me of that one time we were on vacation, just the two of us, and we went to that little. That tiny little church up on.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: This was before kids, before kids, up.
[00:33:33] Speaker D: On Niagara, on the lake. And it was just sat down. It was nice to be, like, anonymous. I was like, we're going to church. Just church.
[00:33:43] Speaker C: That's it.
[00:33:44] Speaker B: No other responsibilities.
[00:33:46] Speaker D: No one knows us. And we're just gonna sit here and have Mass. And, like, no one's gonna say, like, hey, I have the form for you after, like, you know, that whole thing. It's not bad that that happens. I'm just saying it's interesting when it doesn't.
[00:34:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:34:00] Speaker D: Because you can sit there and just be. Be present.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: So rare.
[00:34:04] Speaker D: Yeah, it's rare. Rare. Like, you know, you're on vacation, you're like, oh, okay, let's pop in for. You know, I just remember that there was the catechism.
[00:34:14] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
[00:34:15] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: That particular time, they made an announcement at the end of Mass, and we're like, the youth group will be reading the catechism on Tuesday night. And I was just like, yeah.
[00:34:23] Speaker D: And he was like, but the funny part, for me Is he was like.
[00:34:26] Speaker B: No need to worry about that.
[00:34:27] Speaker C: No.
[00:34:27] Speaker D: He was like, but. But the funny thing was, in the same breath, he's like, there will be pizza served as well. And I was like, yep, your tooth grip.
It was just funny.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: I cringe. It's boo. Okay, so we're. We're like decades into our marriages basically now. Right. So is there anything. What's different than how you expected it to be?
[00:34:51] Speaker E: Well, no.
[00:34:55] Speaker C: We didn't talk about these answers before, so this is very eye opening for me, what your answers are.
[00:35:03] Speaker E: I mean, personally, I don't know if I knew exactly what to expect or what things might look like 20 years down the road.
I think I try to just approach things day by day. And now, for better or worse.
[00:35:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:35:23] Speaker C: You emphasize nausea.
[00:35:25] Speaker E: Yeah. I mean, I think one thing that's different now than when we first got together is just the time commitment and especially having kids and the lack of time in the day to maybe do things for yourself. But other things, I think they change so slowly over the course of your marriage. You just kind of. You don't realize what it was. Like, you look back 10 years ago and it's like, oh, wow, we used to do this, and this is how our life was. And you almost don't realize over the course of your marriage what the changes that do occur.
[00:35:58] Speaker D: Kids change everything.
[00:36:00] Speaker E: That's a sudden change.
[00:36:01] Speaker D: Yeah, they just change everything. I mean, not to go off on a tangent, but I remember, like, you know, bringing our first child home, and like, we brought him home and he sat him down in the car seat, and he was swaddling in the car seat wrong. And I'm like, they just let me leave the hospital.
[00:36:17] Speaker B: We had him swaddled in a blanket and then we put him in the car seat.
[00:36:22] Speaker D: Cause no one told us his arms.
[00:36:23] Speaker B: And legs through all the safety nets.
[00:36:26] Speaker D: No one told us that that wasn't the thing. Right. So.
[00:36:29] Speaker B: But they just crazy.
[00:36:30] Speaker D: They just let anyone take us off.
[00:36:32] Speaker C: But I mean, we said the same thing.
[00:36:34] Speaker D: Yeah. Oh, okay. Good, good.
[00:36:36] Speaker C: Like, they're not going to come and check on us tomorrow, like, make sure the house is safe. Yeah.
[00:36:41] Speaker B: You're working without anything.
I think what surprised me is that, like, it. It really has gotten better every decade. Like, I remember on our 10th anniversary. Yeah.
They tell you it's the. They lead you to believe the honeymoon period is the best period.
[00:36:59] Speaker D: Oh, no.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: And I don't think that's true at all. I think it's.
[00:37:02] Speaker D: I mean, it was fun, but, I mean, it's not that's just so.
[00:37:04] Speaker B: Cause Remember on our 10th anniversary, we looked at each other and we were like, oh, my God, we made it. Like, we were like. We were like, oh, we did it. Ten years in, we made it. And like, oh, geez, no. But at that point, you know, like, we had little ones. We just basically high fived each other and we plowed into, like, the second decade of the marriage. And you just like. And then when we hit 20, which was just last year, I asked if.
[00:37:29] Speaker D: You wanted to go back to the same cottage where our honeymoon was, and you said, that crappy cottage. No, we're not gon.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: That's a whole other story. But I was like, I don't know. It just seems we're so much stronger at 20 than we were at 10. And I think now that our kids are getting older, I'm like. I'm, like, looking forward to the next 10, because I think we're on the cusp of getting to a point where we can focus more on each other. I'm not hurrying my kids out of the house. No, no, no.
[00:37:57] Speaker D: But we definitely talk about seasons of marriage. We have this discussion and we. We, I think just because of who we are, we are reflective, like, so we talk about it like, oh, remember how it was like this? And now, like, we talk about how we've grown, you know, grown through those seasons. And.
Yeah, I think, like, you know, like we had said, like, 20 years in. I'm glad things are different. Like, if they were the same. If you stag. If you stagnate. Yeah, like, that's. That's not good.
[00:38:29] Speaker C: Right?
[00:38:29] Speaker D: You know, that's, you know, so I'm, you know.
[00:38:34] Speaker E: Yeah, there's different chapters as you go along, and that's natural, and that means you're growing, and that creates good experiences along the way.
[00:38:43] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:38:44] Speaker C: It's fun looking back at it.
We get laughing because we'll share and we laugh all the time, which is great. I think humor and laughter is like, if you can't laugh at yourselves, what's the point?
But now, like, our kids are getting older, they wanna know what we're laughing at all the time. And I'm like, oh, this is so tr. I can't tell you. I can't do this backstory. Like, this is happening.
[00:39:08] Speaker D: If I get a dollar for every time one of my teenagers taps their ear buttons. What? What? What? What do you. What'd you say? What are you. Why are you two laughing? Yeah, I'm like, I can't tell you. 30 years of a story. It's not gonna happen.
[00:39:19] Speaker B: But they only do that. They never do that. When you want them to be.
[00:39:22] Speaker C: When you want. Yes. That's what I was just gonna say. Like, you want their attention. They totally, completely ignore you.
[00:39:26] Speaker D: No, but, but. But it's like, you know what. What are you guys talking about?
Nothing. We're talking about nothing. We're laughing about nothing.
[00:39:34] Speaker C: And our daughter, like, she'll give them this side look.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. And if looks could kill.
[00:39:39] Speaker C: It was just like, she's.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: I'm like, I.
[00:39:42] Speaker C: It's not that. It's not. It's not like something bad.
[00:39:46] Speaker D: My favorite is when you tell them and they say and they don't think.
[00:39:49] Speaker C: It'S funny, and they go, oh, yeah.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: They tap their.
[00:39:52] Speaker D: In a butt again. Then they walk away. I'm like, I told you you didn't need it.
I told you it wasn't funny for you. It's funny for us.
[00:39:59] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
[00:40:01] Speaker D: And it's not even like, I did not know.
[00:40:03] Speaker C: No, no, no. It's totally true. It's like. It's not like it's mean or bad. It's just that we have been to. We have this history. And I think that that's what's fun about it, is because we've had this long history that we have. We can just look at each other sometimes and have a whole conversation.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: Right.
[00:40:23] Speaker C: And it's so refreshing, you know?
[00:40:25] Speaker B: And we have the conversations you have with just your eyes when your kids are doing shinigam.
[00:40:31] Speaker C: I mean, not for nothing, but I don't want to. Like, it's a crazy world out there.
[00:40:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:38] Speaker C: And I'm just blessed and fortunate that we met when we did and we didn't have to deal with any of that. Oh, yeah, craziness.
[00:40:49] Speaker B: That's the best thing about being married, is that you're not doing. You're in it together. You really are in it together, doing life on your own.
[00:40:56] Speaker D: And.
[00:40:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Super grateful.
[00:40:58] Speaker C: We kind of already did tips. We jumped.
[00:41:01] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:41:02] Speaker B: It's okay.
[00:41:04] Speaker D: There's a list.
[00:41:05] Speaker B: No, we just have. I think we've talked about most of the things it was about tips for. What tips would you give to a newly married couple?
[00:41:12] Speaker C: Remember how we.
[00:41:13] Speaker B: We would joke about the day we had to move the couches?
[00:41:16] Speaker D: Oh, geez.
[00:41:17] Speaker B: Pivot.
[00:41:18] Speaker C: So the friends thing. Pivot. Did you do that? Did you ever watch that?
[00:41:22] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:41:25] Speaker B: So there was a day when our kids were. I don't know, they were like, maybe 5 and 8 or something. No, they were older than toddlers, but.
[00:41:34] Speaker D: My old enough to know better to not irritate us while we're moving two gigantic houses.
[00:41:39] Speaker B: We were very blessed because hardly any of the furniture in our house did we buy. Most of it we have inherited from relatives. So my aunt and uncle were downsizing.
[00:41:47] Speaker D: And they've done that, like, three times.
[00:41:49] Speaker B: They had two couches that were on the third floor.
[00:41:52] Speaker D: They're in the attic. Yeah.
[00:41:53] Speaker B: Third floor of the house. They were renting, and they were sleepers, so they were heavy, and we had to get. They were, like, at a town or at work or something, and we had to get both of the couches from the third floor down into my one minivan, and we had both of the kids with us, and they were talking about communication, right? And the kids found, like, the dog toys, and they were squeaky, and they were running around the house making absolutely the most amount of noise they could. And we had to communicate, like you said at one point, how we were gonna get.
[00:42:23] Speaker D: At one point, we were on the last little bit of stair, and we're holding this giant couch, and we've already gone down two flights of stairs, and it's heavy because it's a sleeper. And Liam ran under the couch and up the stairs, and we're like, are.
[00:42:37] Speaker C: You kidding me right now?
[00:42:38] Speaker B: So we were like. At that moment, we looked at each other, and we're like, this should be. This is the test marriage prep.
[00:42:43] Speaker C: This is the test.
[00:42:44] Speaker B: If you can move.
[00:42:45] Speaker D: Take our two kids, go move a couch.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: We'll lend them to you. Two couch down three flights of stairs and into the. You know, we had to have, like, couches on top of each other so they would fit.
[00:42:57] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:42:58] Speaker E: If you can get through that, everything else will be easier.
[00:43:00] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:43:01] Speaker C: So when I first started in ministry, I was at St. Anne, and part of my job. I have no idea why this is part of the job description.
[00:43:09] Speaker B: Other duties as assigned.
[00:43:10] Speaker D: Other duties as assigned.
[00:43:12] Speaker C: Pre cana.
[00:43:13] Speaker B: Oh, right. And you weren't in.
[00:43:14] Speaker C: I was in charge of pre cana, and I wasn't even engaged. And. And I'm like, okay. And then we got engaged, and I still didn't bring Jeremy on board with us, but, like, it was. We got married in November, and then I think we had pre cana in April or May.
And I was like, you have to go. I'm like, we're married. You have to go with me. There was no voluntold. It was told.
And I remember, like, all these young people, and they're like, not even young. They're, like, two years younger than us. Right. And. And we're going through all the different topics, and there is one couple, I don't know if you remember it, but, like, they started having a fight on bank accounts.
[00:44:00] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:44:01] Speaker C: And Jer and I looked at each other and were like, okay, maybe this is good.
[00:44:06] Speaker D: That they're something they should have discussed before pre K. Right.
[00:44:09] Speaker B: But they're discussing it before the wedding.
[00:44:11] Speaker D: Yes, yes.
[00:44:12] Speaker C: But, like, I guess I'm jumping to the next. Like, the sacrament of marriage is like. Like, people worry. I shouldn't say this in general, but, like, they worry more about the reception and the party and, like, who cares what the cost is? And then they'll get mad or upset that there's a fee for the church.
[00:44:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:35] Speaker C: It's weird, you know, and it's like, what are we prioritizing?
But, like. And we did pre Cana with the diocese, and then we're like, I feel like we need more, and I don't know why, but then we ended up doing it. Like, we did that.
[00:44:54] Speaker B: Did you do Engaged Encounter?
[00:44:55] Speaker C: Engaged Encounter? Yeah, we did that.
No, we didn't do Engaged Encounter. No, we took that.
[00:45:01] Speaker B: Oh, that test.
[00:45:04] Speaker C: Focus. Focus. Yes. Is that really a test?
[00:45:08] Speaker B: It's a test. It's totally a test.
[00:45:10] Speaker C: The husband fills out his form, and the wife fills out her form, and then it gets submitted and tracked to see what answers you got the same.
[00:45:18] Speaker D: Can you fail this test?
[00:45:20] Speaker C: Probably. You could get no answers. The same.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: And if you fail the test, then the priest or whoever's preparing you for.
For marriage will be like, you have a lot of homework to do.
[00:45:31] Speaker C: These are the areas for conversation. Right.
[00:45:34] Speaker B: But I feel like, is there anything the husbands want to talk about before we. Anything we didn't say?
[00:45:43] Speaker E: I think, again, just, you know, listening, being there for each other.
You know, that every day it makes your marriage stronger and again, lets you be a good role model for the kids and creates a positive atmosphere.
[00:45:56] Speaker D: So, yeah, I guess for me, it's like, just like, if. Just remember, like, you're not going to be the same. Marriage is a growth process all the way through. And if you're not growing, take a good look, because something, you know, be. Listen, talk, you know, and, you know, be one together.
[00:46:18] Speaker C: Ann and I joke that we can't be having a bad day on the same day.
[00:46:23] Speaker B: Right.
[00:46:25] Speaker C: One of us has to be the lifeguard. And I think that's kind of what marriage is. I mean, it's gonna stink if both of us are in A rut on the same day, especially with the kids. And I think utilizing your strengths and weaknesses and being able to see that. I know my kids are probably gonna be mad that I'm saying this, but, like, each of us have our own kid that we deal with better.
[00:46:50] Speaker B: When everybody's at their worst, we know.
[00:46:52] Speaker C: Who needs to be the point parent for which, instead of struggling with that kid, we kind of just like wrestling. We tap in. Yeah, I'm done.
So do we want to get into some doozies of scripture and.
[00:47:08] Speaker B: Yeah, we. Marriage scripture with a few scripture passages. Some of the scripture passages about marriage, I mean.
[00:47:16] Speaker C: Yeah, listen, I just. I can't.
[00:47:18] Speaker B: So some of these I put on the list just for.
[00:47:22] Speaker C: I think. I think we should. I think we really should do Proverbs 21:9, though, because that's hysterical. You have. You have, like, exclamation points and question marks. Okay, you read it.
Jeremy, you might agree with this one, though.
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop or an alternate transition, a wilderness, than in a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Would you rather live in the wilderness than me when I'm quarrelsome?
[00:47:53] Speaker E: Quarrelsome every once in a while it comes to mind, but.
[00:47:58] Speaker D: Oh, I don't find Anne particularly quarrelsome.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: Here's a better one from Proverbs. Who can find a woman of worth, or alternate translation, an excellent wife far beyond jewels is her value. There you go.
[00:48:18] Speaker D: There you go. You know. Cause the teacher and the youth minister don't have a lot of jewels to go around.
[00:48:25] Speaker C: Yeah, we definitely. Jewels aren't enough for the money.
No, I like Ecclesiastes.
[00:48:32] Speaker D: Oh, what's that one?
[00:48:33] Speaker B: Yeah, this one I wasn't aware of.
[00:48:35] Speaker C: But it was good.
Two are better than one. Oh, I'm sorry. This is from Ecclesiastes, chapter four, verses nine through ten. Two are better than one. They get a good wage for their tail. If one fails, the other will help the fallen one.
[00:48:51] Speaker B: If one falls down, the other one's gonna drag him back up.
[00:48:55] Speaker C: Actually, they're gonna laugh.
[00:48:57] Speaker D: I wonder what preceded that. I wonder what they were talking about. I'm going to go look that up later.
[00:49:04] Speaker B: How about this? First Peter 48. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, for love covers a multitude of sins.
[00:49:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Some days it's easier than others.
And I think now, like in our. You know, this sounds so silly, and I feel old saying it, but like in our society where. Where both husband and wife are working.
[00:49:28] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:49:30] Speaker C: And just the.
I mean, I know that my mom is like, I don't know how you guys do it because my mom really.
[00:49:37] Speaker D: Stayed home because we have mortgages.
[00:49:42] Speaker C: I don't know.
But, like, it's so true. It's like it really. There's a lot that goes into it.
[00:49:51] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:49:51] Speaker C: It's crazy.
[00:49:52] Speaker B: So you want to finish with Brian? Would you read this one? Because it was our reading at our wedding.
[00:49:56] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Do you recognize it?
[00:49:57] Speaker D: I do definitely recognize. No, no, I actually do.
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. And over all these, put on love. That is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace unto which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
[00:50:29] Speaker B: Colossians 3 All right. Well, we talked about a lot of things.
[00:50:33] Speaker C: We did.
[00:50:34] Speaker B: This was a big episode, probably maybe our longest one yet, I think. So thanks for sticking with us.
[00:50:40] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:50:41] Speaker B: Thank you to Brian and Jeremy for coming here today and humoring your wife.
[00:50:46] Speaker D: Absolutely no problem.
[00:50:49] Speaker C: It was fun having you guys on. It was super fun.
[00:50:52] Speaker E: Wonderful. Good.
[00:50:53] Speaker B: We love you guys. All right, everybody, we hope you have a great week and we'll see you next time. Bye.
[00:51:00] Speaker A: Thanks for taking a faith break with us today.
Karen Luke and Anne Gallagher are lay ministers with the parishes of St. Catherine of Siena in Menden, New York, and Church of the Transfiguration in Pittsford, New York. More about our parishes, including weekly live streamed Sunday Mass, can be
[email protected] or transfigurationpittsford.org thanks to our special guests today, Jeremy and Brian.
Engineering today is by Jeff Beckett. Join us for new episodes of Faith Break each week in Studio on YouTube or on your favorite audio podcast or music applied.
